Wasurena Sou: Forget Me Not
by CelianAdellanie
Summary: Inspired by the traditional blue konpeito candy comes a series of one-shots from Kozue's perspective. Focuses mainly on her relationship with Miki and her struggle with her love for him. The first is titled "Calyx", and the last will be titled "Rosehip". Heavy doses of symbolism and drama included, and advised background music is the piece "Pessimism".
1. Calyx

Note: Onii-chan, a honorific for "big brother" is used here for emphasis. I do not own SKU.

_Without further ado,_

** Wasurena Sou : Calyx**

Onii-chan laughs, sunlight making his blue locks shimmer. His delicate, beautiful fingers dance on the piano, playing his favorite song. "The Sunlit Garden." I am jealous of the piano he loves so much.

"Come on, Kozue," he urges. "Play with me!" Hesitantly, I join in. My clumsy paws make a mess of the fingering, but his skillful playing still shines. He smiles the warmest of smiles at me. The only time he smiles is when we are at the piano. That's why, in a sense, I don't mind. The garden is fresh and bright, the perfect calyx for him. He is my only brother, my only family, my everything. My fake mother taps on the piano, interrupting our small eternity.

"Guess what, children?" she asks with feigned enthusiasm. "Your wonderful father has arranged for you to play your song at the concert hall next weekend!" She set a tray of milkshakes down. Miki took his with thanks, downing it in one gulp. I crossed my arms, worried.

"But what if I mess up?" My voice was trembling. If I made a major mistake, Miki would never forgive me.

"It will be alright. I will be there," Miki assured me, hugging me. I rested in his arms. He pulled back to quickly. "Look, Kozue. He holds out his hand, filled with konpeito candies every shade of blue.

"Candy?" I ask. Mother didn't often buy us hard candy. She said it was too expensive.

"Mmm-hmm." He poured the blue stars into my outstretched hand.

"This is a special type, though," he whispered. "_Wasurena Sou_. Forget Me Not. Now you won't forget me or the song." He kissed my cheek sweetly.

"Promise?" I said, desperate.

"Promise." I put a candy on my tongue. It was sweet.

"_A carpet of lotus flowers,_

_playing with dolls._

_A mysterious charm, fii, fii,_

_konpeito candy…"_

"What are you singing, Kozue-chan?" the fake mother asked at dinner.

"Nothing an adult like you would understand," I retorted rudely. Miki winced, so I apologized immediately. "I'm sorry. It's a secret." She pursed her lips.

"Well, anyway. Are you two feeling well?"

"Actually, I feel a little sick," Miki replied honestly.

"Then you need to go to bed soon, Onii-chan," I said, hurrying, taking him out of his chair and leading him to the bathroom. "You need to take your bath, then sleep." I hear the fake mother's condescending voice remark on my kindness. She's wrong. It's all selfishness. I want Onii-chan to love me like I love him. That is my only reason for everything.

"_Wore a pretty kimono_

_to my shichigosan,_

_oh my dream,_

_cherry blossoms everywhere…"_

I stopped humming as soon as I looked over at Miki's bed in the morning. He was coughing, his face red. "Onii-chan!" I yell, going over, grabbing his hands. Father and the fake mother burst in.

"Let go of him, Kozue!" the fake mother said, pulling me away.

"You don't want to get sick, too!" Father says.

"Yes, I do!" I protest, struggling. Father called the doctor, who was there almost instantly. Supposedly he was in the neighborhood.

"He is very sick," the doctor said. "You would do best not to get too near him for the time being, Miss, he told me coldly. He left abruptly.

"Don't worry about me," Miki said. "You can play without me."

"But Onii-chan!" I screamed as the fake mother pulled me out of the door. What about me? He promised. "_Wasurena Sou_!"

"Come on, Kozue-chan," the fake mother chided. "You need to go to the concert hall." We were soon off in the long, dark car. I blinked, and I was sitting at the piano in front of a large audience, trembling. I set my fingers on the keys, but nothing came. I reached into my pocket, and ate another piece of candy, but it tasted sickly sweet. I swallowed, trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

"She's so inexperienced," one of the audience members complained loudly. "And where's her brother?" I stood up and faced the audience, scared.

"Play!" the audience chanted. "Play!" I shook, then started crying. I ran off stage.

"Kozue-chan!" The fake mother shouted, running after me into the garden outside of the concert hall. I hide under a rose bush, crying. The rest of the candy, I crush into the ground, shards of stubbornly sparkling candy. My shining things. Shattered. I resolved to no longer play the piano. Onii-chan… no. Miki had lied to me. He had forgotten his promise. Forgotten me.

"_To the me of far away"_, forget me not. _Wasurena Sou_.


	2. Bud

**Wasurena Sou: Bud**

I woke up in the middle of the night, restless. I looked at Miki's twin bed instinctively. It was empty again. So that was why I could not sleep. I never could without him in the room. I turned into a chronic insomniac every time he left to go on tour, to showcase his piano skills. Putting on my robe, I walked downstairs. Our private dorm was convenient.

"Miki?" I asked. He was buried in paperwork at his half of our work desk. We each had a side. His was neat and orderly, school things set in specific, efficient arrangements. Mine was cluttered and messy, piled with magazines, makeup, and my old pink diary.

"Miki?" I repeated.

"Kozue," he said slowly, not looking up. his brow furrowed. "What are you doing up so late?" He tore his eyes away from the paper reluctantly.

"What are you doing up so late?" I said, turning the question back to him.

"Homework." He showed me a paper for a second before instantly going back to filling it out.

"You always finish your homework at school, though. Why are you doing it at home now?"

"No reason," Miki said, hiding his face.

"Don't lie to me, Miki," I said, snatching the paper away from his hands. "I can tell when you're lying. We are twins, you know. My stomach sank. What was he keeping from me?

"You've made me quite aware of that." I ignored his comment, studying the paper.

"You're joining the Student Council? Why didn't you tell me?" I could feel myself trembling with anger. He reached for the paper.

"I didn't want you to get upset," he answered. "It's invitation only." He showed me his left hand, wiggling his fingers. "See?" A ring with a rose crest graced his long pianist's fingers.

"If you really cared about me, you would refuse!" I shouted. "You're my only brother!"

"They made me an offer I can't refuse." Miki looked at the ring, admiring it. I grabbed toward it, and Miki slapped my hand away. I froze, shocked. It was then I realized that I was sobbing. I tried to wipe the tears away, but like the seventh grader I am, they kept on coming.

"Don't forget about me, Miki," I begged. He turned away, clasping the ring to his chest.

"Don't interfere, Kozue," he whispered. "This is important to me. And it will be for you." His luminous blue eyes were alight with longing. "The chance for revolution. The chance to win my shining thing back. It is more than yet all that I can dream of. Please understand." He looked at me earnestly, and I couldn't say no to that damn baby face of his. But I needed to know something.

"Am I not enough?" My voice wavered on the last word.

"That's not it," Miki said. He ignored me then, lost in fantasy. I became disgusted.

"I don't want to stay where I am not welcome, then," I told him. "I'm going out." Miki made no move to stop me, and that hurt me more than any of his words had.

"Do you hear me?" I demanded. "I'm going out by myself at midnight. Aren't you even the slightest bit worried? Idiot." Still no reaction. I fled the dorm.

I was at the center of the school by the rose greenhouse when I remembered I was still in my pajamas. Whatever. The night air still felt suffocating, smelling, as it did, of roses. I continued through the empty halls, running like a wild animal Even the three ghost girls didn't scare me. I stopped when I reached the front of the school, panting.

"I'm on the edge," I joked to myself bitterly, clinging to the iron wrought gate desperately. The world was on the other side of that gate. I turned around an leaned against it. the school tower was imposing. I wondered if I might ever see the view from the top of it. A loud horn cut through my thoughts. I wheeled around in time to back up, for the gates slid open just enough to admit a red convertible.

"Good evening," the owner said, jumping out of the car.

"Good evening."

"I'm the acting chairman, Akio Ohtori. You may have heard of me." He gave me a smile that would make all the girls in my class faint.

"Kozue Kaoru, first year of middle school."

"Well, Miss Kaoru," he said charmingly, offering me his arm. I took it suspiciously. "What are you doing out so late? Come to my suite, and we'll talk it over. I'm always working in the interest of our students." He led me to the elevator, which zoomed up to the top of the tower. I blinked when the doors opened. Akio gestured at a pretty white couch, and I sat down.

"That's a pretty rosebud," I said at first, nervous about telling this man about my troubles with Miki.

"Isn't it?" he said fondly, stroking the beginnings of the petals. "It's a rare blue rose, and I anticipate its bloom." I nodded. "So what is your problem right now, Miss Kozue?" He licked his lips.

"It's my twin brother. You see, he's just not close to me anymore."

"I see."

"I love him more than I can say, but he doesn't feel the same."

"Ah," Akio said wisely. "I suppose then I may surmise that you have never felt much love of the romantic kind. The kind that brings a lady into full bloom." He leaned forward, staring deep into my eyes.

"What do you mean, Mr. Chairman?" I asked innocently.

"Let's find out," he whispered. He kissed me, and I became lost in perverse passion, drowning. The lights turned off, and the projector lights turned on.

"Good morning, Miki," I said from my spot in the breakfast table.

"Good morning," Miki replied absentmindedly before looking up. He turned red. "Kozue, what are you wearing?"

"The school uniform."

"I'm pretty sure that the skirt isn't that short and that the blouse isn't so, well, low cut." He coughed.

"Don't be such a prude, Miki," I laughed, standing up and kissing him on the cheek. "See you at school." I hummed as I walked, the rosebud in my hands.


	3. Petal

**Wasurena Sou - Petal**

"Oh, Kaido, don't be ridiculous! Of course I like you even with glasses," I said coyly. "You look smart. So intellectual." I leaned in, squeezing his arm slightly tighter and exposing my neck by tilting my head. It was all calculation. Of course he fell for me. I had told him a lie. Glasses didn't belong on such a handsome boy. "Of course, though, I prefer when they are off your nose."

"Why?" Kaido looked comically worried, even though I knew he was in earnest.

"Because that means you're going to kiss me, of course." Also a lie. I advanced, watching him back into the arch. Delicately, I reached up and took off his glasses. I pressed my lips to his. The truth was, of course, that I couldn't stand the intellectual look. Miki needed to suffer. There was no way that I would date one of his own kind. It was fun to watch him squirm. Kaido, of course, was no slouch [or so he thought] when it came to dating. He though he could manipulate me, even though I pulled the strings. Miki would walk along any second.

"Kozue," Kaido breathed, turning me around so that my back was to the wall. I glanced to the side while he kissed me, and my eyes alighted on Miki. His sheet music lay scattered at his feet, his blue eyes watery.

"Don't be greedy, you glutton!" I said jokingly, pushing Kaido away. He chuckled.

"You're such a tease, Miss Kozue!" he said. I looked over at Miki again, and he was gathering his papers robotically. I smirked.

"You don't know the half of it," I replied, my voice husky. Miki gulped. "Well, it seems I must go now. Swim team."

"Aw!" Kaido whined. "Just ditch." I shook my head. "Alright, then. I have something for you before you go." He held out a small bag of candy to me. "The colors reminded me of you." He smiled in a manner he probably though charming. The candy was konpeito. I froze.

"I know it's a little childish, but I hope you like it."

"Don't buy me candy again, Kaido," I said coldly, dropping it back into his hands. "I'll see you after practice." I pushed him away and walked across the courtyard towards Miki, who was still standing there with his mouth agape.

"Let's go to swim team, Miki," I said.

"Uhh," Miki said, getting flustered. "Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. My piano teacher says I can't do swim team anymore if I want to progress in music. I already turned in the resignation form." He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Sorry."

"Then I won't be seeing you anymore, will I?" I said quietly. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. "This was our last activity we were doing together. You're my best partner during freestyle relay."

"Sorry," Miki repeated.

"Oh, I get it," I said bitterly. "You don't want to hang out with your little sister anymore, huh? Think you're above it, Student Council Secretary? Fine. I won't bother you about it anymore." I flounced off to practice, trying to mask the pain and loathing that would burst out of my body if I didn't control it. Again, I had been abandoned.

I told myself to stop it. Nothing had changed. As ever, Miki was leaving me alone. He couldn't forever, though, no matter how that Student Council changed him. I was almost afraid of jumping into the water, blue and glassy like Miki's eyes. My eyes. Our eyes. why did he deny our relationship?

The rhythm of warm up laps did nothing to calm me, as it usually did. Without Miki by my side, the world seemed so foreign, so far away. He was the only thing I could be sure of. During butterfly stroke drills, the rose pattern on the pool floor caught my eyes.

The water made it waver, made it seem like it was blood diffusing through the blue. I wanted Miki to myself for eternity. Forever… If I were to kill him… To see rivulets of crimson on white skin… No… I became disgusted with myself. I jumped out of the pool, shivering from the cold. Practice had ended.

"Where was your brother today?" one of the insipid girls also on the swim team asked.

"He resigned so he could focus more on piano," I said, crouching to stare into the water.

"Oh, I heard he's doing really well! Fencing and playing piano on the national level! Not to mention taking college classes! You must feel really lucky to have such a cool brother!" Insipid 1's friend declared.

"I suppose," I said, gathering a fistful of water in my hand and watching it drain out like the similarities between Miki and I. I wasn't really listening to her. I was plotting. I would have to get rid of Kaido. He was too low class, truly. Who would suffice next? That was it. Of course. I smiled at my idiocy. It would have to be Touga Kiryu, the Student Council President and noted playboy. Maybe I should thank Miki for making me realized the mediocrity of my present efforts.

I showered, dried off, and then got dressed in the locker room, trying not to look at myself in the mirror. If I only had not the same blood from the same mother as Miki, maybe he would have accepted me. But then, perhaps our being twins was the only thing that kept us together. my mood darkening, I stormed out of the locker room. Kaido was waiting outside, a perverted smile on his face.

"You should have let me come in to the locker room," he said, falling in step with me. I shoved him away.

"You have no class, Kaido. We're over," I said sharply.

"Kozue!" he yelled, stopping, but I continued to walk. I only would have halted if it was Miki calling out my name. I hated him so much, my brother, that is. But they say there is a thin line between love and hate. I say there is no line at all.


	4. Wither

_After a long hiatus due to AP testing, I present..._

**Wasurena Sou: Wither**

"Kozue?" Miki's voice sounded through the bedroom door. I buried my head underneath the pillows, but I still heard his pretty voice. Damn that voice of his. It was so delicate and beautiful. It made me want to do unspeakable things to Miki. "Are you sick?" Yes, in fact I am. But not in the way you'd expect, dear brother.

"Yes." My voice didn't falter.

"Will you let me in?"

"No," I whispered, tears budding. Why was I like this? I was never like this. Just because Onii-chan was flirting with some orange-haired skank I was moping in my room like the most pathetic human being. Fuck Kaido for telling me about their little affair.

"Kozue!" he protested. I hate, hate, hated that voice. I yanked the door open.

"What the hell do you want, Miki?" I demanded. He recoiled, blue eyes hurt. I softened. "What?"

"Your boyfriend is at the door waiting for you," he informed me solemnly. I grabbed his collar. That's all he wanted? That was the only point of his interruptance of my musings? Nothing more? Did he not truly care for me? I raised my hand to slap him.

"Kozue?" I stopped. Not again, please. Not that timbre. Not that tone.

"Tell him to go home. I don't want to see that bastard ever again." I didn't care if Touga was the Student Council President.

"Would that make you feel better?" he asked earnestly. Yes, be kind now, when the damage is done. Be thoughtful now, when you already skewered my heart as if by a fencing sword. I collapsed on him, my arms around his neck. He stood stiffly.

"Yes, it would," I whispered.

"Um, Kozue? Would you let go of me now so I can send him off?"

"I can't," I murmured. Dazed, I looked up at his confused face. "When did you get taller than me, Miki? I wish we had stayed the same size forever." I kissed his brow, then pressed my lips against his. He tasted so sweet it sent delicious, sharp pain coursing through me. Then he shoved me away, so hard and so suddenly I crashed to the floor. My ankle twinged. Miki was shaking, his gorgeous face red and angry.

"What in the world was that?" he asked, appalled. "It was… disgusting. You're crazy, Kozue." I felt like laughing. He only just figured that out? "I'll blame the fact that you were sick." He shook his head, then wiped his lips on his sleeve as if to get rid of the kiss. He turned away and hurried down the stairs. I got up, even on my faulty ankle, and followed, wanting to tell him the truth. That I wanted him and he was mine and I was his and he couldn't deny the bond we shared. I stopped short at the bottom of the steps.

"Why hello, Kozue," Touga greeted, smirking.

"Sorry, President Touga," Miki started.

"I'm not sorry," I cut in. Touga knew! He had heard it all. I could tell from the way those violet eyes were mocking me. He was reveling in my pain. Why the hell had I made him my chosen boytoy? "You're leaving. Now." I shoved Touga out the door. He continued to act suave, striding out with the confident walk of a seasoned playboy. I closed the door behind him, locked it shut, and put the key in my bra.

"Can you let me out?" Miki asked. "I need to go to fencing club. Miss Juri is most likely waiting for me to start practice." I narrowed my eyes.

"Oh, so that's where you're seeing her. You don't have time for swim team because of piano, but of course you make time for 'Miss Juri' so that you can fool around with her in the fencing team locker room." Sarcasm infused every word.

"I don't fool around!" Miki defended. 'You're the one who fools around. You have a new boyfriend every week, Kozue. I'm worried about you."

"Says the boy who cares more about his girlfriend than his twin," I said nastily. I marched up to the bedroom and locked the door with another key. I leaned so that my back touched the door and slid down until I was sitting. Minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Just when I thought there would be. Miki hated conflict; he always had. He was always the first to make up.

"Forgive me, Kozue."

"No." I couldn't forgive him. Then none of this would mean anything. I heard a small rustle, and a small paper package slid out from under the door. I grasped it desperately.

"Juri's not my girlfriend, just my mentor. And I'm sorry I've been a little distant." I scoffed. A little distant, indeed. "You just don't seem like the same person anymore." Liar. He's the one who changed. The one who abandoned me. Us. "I just need to find my shining thing, and then everything will be alright." I didn't reply, and after a while I heard his footsteps go down the hallway. I opened the packet and ate the konpeito that I knew would be inside, the salty, bitter taste of tears mixing with the sugar.

Why was I on the other side of this door when we were locked in the same house? Why was there this divide? I should have locked him in this room with me and thrown the key out of the window. We would have lived and died together like we should. Why would we be twins otherwise? The last of the candy melted on my tongue. I was such a damned masochist.

I didn't want to kiss anyone else ever again; I could still feel the ghost of his lips. Like rose petals. Innocent rose petals that I had crushed and ripped to shreds because of my selfishness. Because of his selfishness. I seemed to always say things twice because he and I are the same person twice, and why he doesn't realize that and doesn't crave that is crippling to me. I observe my hands, the same pianist's fingers, long and graceful, as his. When I reach out, I can almost imagine his also reaching for me, grasping my hand and connecting our unbreakable missing link.


	5. Death

_Author's Note: As we get into the period of time where the story is actually shown, I will be taking artistic liberties. I interpret SKU as multiple memories, surreal and dreamlike, and thus my writing will reflect the amorphousness and impression-like qualities of it._

**Wasurena Sou: Death**

Our impassioned breathing drowned out my thoughts. Almost. Glossy red locks flowed over my bare shoulders, and I deepened the kiss. Touga's fingers banged down on the piano keys reflexively when his hand had just been lying on the edge. A dissonant chord rang out. I startled back, disentangling myself from the silken vines. Harmless vines. The real thorns lay in his voice. It didn't hurt anymore. It wasn't masochism, or so I told myself.

"Scared, are you, Kozue?" Touga asked, looking at me slyly.

"Why would I be scared?"

"That innocent act doesn't become you, Kozue," Touga said, kissing my collarbone, then biting it. I sighed with pleasure at the pain. "You're a twisted girl." I laughed. I was. I was as sick, as disgusting, as scarred as Miki was pure. But while my intentions were chaste, really, just for love; Miki's were corrupted. His "shining thing". He needed to face reality. The reality I would build for him if he said the word.

"You're twisted, as well," I whispered into Touga's ear coquettishly, trailing my fingers down his chest.

"Who, me?"

"Who else?"

"Why keep on playing this game?" The amusement in Touga's voice was not lost on me.

"It's my own duelist's game," I said. "If there's something you want, you have to make it yours before someone takes it away." His eyebrows quirked, as if my words struck another chord.

"I don't think you're talking about me, are you, Miss Kozue?" The honorific sounded wrong in such an intimate situation. I raised my eyebrows, and he smirked. I suppose he isn't half bad in the ways of looks, but his hair is much too long, his jawline too sharp, his eyes too piercing. His eyes are the wrong color, damn it all. I could have pretended he was Miki if only his eyes were that same innocent blue.

"There's something I want. I plan on getting it," I said carefully.

"I like how you think. Miki's not the only genius in your family, then."

"Lust doesn't have anything to do with intelligence." The words were bitter in my mouth because of their truth. Touga gave me a "come here" gesture.

I averted my eyes, feeling like I was going to vomit. Touga pulled me closer, and the nausea vanished and was replaced by a crippling pain. I laughed quietly. It was pointless. No matter how many boys or girls held me like this, I could only think of Miki. I succumbed to that pain, feeling that maybe, one day, Miki would rescue me, as prince-like as he once pretended to be years ago. As noble as that stupid pink-haired ditz rattled on about. I eclipsed myself with hurt.

But then, it was not truly submission; I was in control. It was the only control I could have. My true emotions are so wild, so reckless, that the only way to reign them in is to let them roam free. I almost can't catch breath as Touga and I become so closely entwined. Perhaps, only perhaps, I can forget myself and Miki this time. No, that's repetitive. Ourself. We are the same person, still. Right? We had to be.

Light footstep cut into my consciousness, the sound traveling through the crack underneath the piano room door. I shoved Touga back. I knew those footsteps, because they were my own. Shaking, I hurriedly put on my blouse again. Touga just watched me lazily, his shirt unbuttoned yet.

"Why bother, Kozue?" Touga asked. "Isn't that the point of your efforts anyway? To prove to your brother how much he wants you?"

"Close your filthy mouth," I told him. "You have no right to barge in on our affairs."

"'Affair'?" Touga's evil smile from earlier returned.

"A Freudian slip."

"No such thing, not here," he replied. I didn't have time to think about what he was talking about. Miki was knocking on the door to this music room. I pulled up my skirt, and, shooting one last angry glance at Touga, fled the room. And crashed straight into Miki.

Shit. I don't care if Miki calls that curse crass, sometimes you need those uncouth words to relieve tension. Even then, it didn't help this time. His book sheet music fluttered to the ground, cruelly peaceful. But in my mind, the ugly chord replayed. I see the pity and disbelief in Miki's eyes when I look up. I immediately stopped hugging myself protectively and realized my necktie was still mussed.

"Mickey?" The endearing nickname comes out of my mouth before I can stop myself. Miki tried to slip past me, but I blocked his way unthinkingly. I hadn't seen him in forever. He was always at that Tenjou girl's place along with her glasses friend. Why, I did not know. But he needed to stop ignoring me. "That was rude of you."

"Kozue, just let me pass." Miki's eyes slid over mine as if I wasn't even there. It hurt as if I'd been punched in the throat and left without air.

"You dropped your music book." I watched him bend down to pick it up. He was as graceful as ever, his movements delicate and precise. His waist was still so thin, almost girlishly so, and his jaw had no hint of hair. Such a child.

"Are you ever going to try to make me play piano again?" I inquired, tucking my shirt in a little more neatly. I despised myself for being so desperate. Ever since I relented and unlocked the doors of our quarters, he'd spent the night away. He said he was in the Student Council Room, but I knew from needling Juri that he was only ever in there to sleep. He was out the rest of the day.

"I've given up, Kozue." He straightened the portfolio and stood up. How could such young eyes be so cold? "What were you doing in the piano room anyway?"

"I have as much a right use this room as you do. And besides, music rooms aren't just for playing the piano, Miki." The innuendo flew past him as I knew it would. I re-tied my scarf suggestively, but still no response.

I tried to keep myself together, sashaying over to say good morning to Insipids One and Two from the swim team. Miki entered the music room, and I said goodbye. Turning back to the music room doors, I noticed a photograph on the ground that must have fallen out of Miki's music book.

Did I want to pick it up? It didn't matter if I wanted to or not because I would. I picked it up and felt an excruciating stab of pain. It was of Tenjou's purple-haired friend. Himemiya Anthy. She was smiling among roses. For the longest time, Miki had kept a picture of us as children. I trembled. My knees gave out, and I sat, shocked, on the hard, unforgiving marble. I heard Touga's booming voice through the door.

"Your sister is very charming, Mickey, but I think you may be even cuter," he said, his words ringing in my mind. My blood curdled.

"What?" Miki asked, surprised. Sure, we were both prodigies, both geniuses, but sometimes Miki was so fucking dense I wanted to slap him. Then kiss him. "Have you seen Miss Himemiya?" The adoration in his voice made me sick.

"Oh, so that's what this is about?" Touga laughed. "Your shining thing, hmm?" No, no no. Why? Why? That fool! That infernal ideal? That nostalgia was his damn feelings for me! For me, his only twin! He can't get the garden back because _he ruined it_.

"Yes, I think I found it in Miss Himemiya's playing." I heard a rustle, and there the slut was. I bit back an insane giggle. I was the last person to call another a slut. But the hateful sentiment worked somehow as I looked up at her right outside of the music room. Her lovely hair was pinned back perfectly in a proper style Miki must admire, and her uniform was neat and unassuming. She didn't even acknowledge my presence, just like Miki.

"If there's something you want, you need to make it yours before someone else takes it away," Touga said to Miki, repeating what I had said earlier.

"Miss Himemiya!" Miki exclaimed. In minutes, "The Sunlit Garden" floated out of the room, the delicate notes like swords chopping my heart to bits. He had replaced me. I pulled myself to standing and stumbled down the hallway. I don't know how I got to Juri's, I just know that I was glad for the shot glass she pushed at me. She looked wasted herself, but we didn't talk. We drank until the liquor rendered the world as dark, colorless, and depressive as we felt.


	6. Frozen

_I am finally back from finals, so I present a d-d-d-DOUBLE UPDATE! *large fanfare* Not really, heh. ^^; Please Enjoy!_

**Frozen**

"What is it, my rose?" Touga murmured, nibbling my earlobe. "You're not fighting back today. Not that I don't mind having you in my hands, but it's missing a bit of fun." The water in the fountain just behind us burbled mockingly. I slipped off of Touga's lap, shivering when my legs felt the cool marble of the bench. Touga smiled bemusedly.

"It can't be because you are jealous of Keiko." he laughed quietly, laying a hand on my thigh. Slowly, it slid up my skirt. What did I care? Was it worth the effort to do anything anymore?

"It wouldn't matter to you." I turned and looked down into the fountain. My image, no, Miki's image, no yet again, our image, was distorted by the ripples sent across the water. For the second time, I clutched a hand around the water, watching it drain, slip away. So close yet so far. The noon sun made the water sparkle. I hate when inanimate objects are happy.

"What are you doing at my fountain?" Juri's disapproving voice cut through the tension. "This is my private garden. First Tenjou, then you two!" She snorted. "Scat, you good for nothing fake Student Council President playboy." Even in her casual clothes, Juri was intimidating. I smiled just a little bit. Miki picked good friends. Just not good lovers. But then, I'm biased.

"I'll not apologize, but I will leave," Touga drawled, turning on the charm. Juri rolled her eyes.

"Just leave before you make anymore of an idiot of yourself."

"Fine, fine. But first," Touga swooped in to try to steal a kiss from Juri. Instead, Juri smacked his head away.

"It's been a year since we started being on the Council together, President. Learn for once that not every woman needs a man, much less one like you." She turned to me, smirking. I knew she could see the bit of laughter in my eyes. "Come inside, Kozue, and have a drink with me. I need a good drinking partner, and you hold your liquor well." I followed her inside.

"What do you want?" Juri asked, opening the cupboard to a well-stocked bar.

"Vodka, straight. If you don't mind. No frills right now."

"Sure." Juri set down a shot glass and a bottle in front of me, then poured a glass of bourbon for herself.

"So why'd you take pity on me today?"

"For Miki," Juri shrugged. "The same reason why you followed me." I gave her a look. "Oy. I know what unrequited love is like." Juri toyed with the golden rose pendent hanging around her neck. I gave her a look. "I have my informants, too, Kozue."

"That's quite a collection of drinks, by the way," I commented, downing the first shot. The liquor blazed down my throat, filling me with a warmth and fire that had been missing. "How do they not catch you on those drug tests they do for fencing?"

"Just throw the authorities a special look and they forget it ever happened." Juri said lazily. "Anyway, you should be more worried about yourself. Barely out of middle school and you're half alcoholic." She knocked down the bourbon.

"Juri, are you drunk?" I asked with sudden foresight.

"And if I am?" Juri sighed, tossing her curls. "Kozue. It doesn't matter if we are sober or not in this school because nothing is real here anyways. You've already seen the duels."

"How did you know?" It was difficult to keep the bitterness and pain out of my voice, so I didn't even try.

"Touga, the bastard. Never keeps his mouth shut. That's why it is easiest just to ignore him so as not to succumb to his provocations." Juri poured herself another drink.

"I already know that." What did Juri think I was? An empty-brained valley girl? I wish that I was, just like Daisy explained in _The Great Gatsby_, because no one would blame a "beautiful fool" for running another over with her desires. Of course, nobody knows that I have all the brains of my brother. Because they are the only weapon I have left. Rhetoric manipulation was keeping me alive. It was gloriously ironic, though, how that intelligence alienated me from Miki. It was like the surface of the water, a barrier that only seemed to be breakable. In reality, crossing that barrier just pulled one down into dark depths.

"I know that you know. But you don't try to avoid him."

"Aren't you trying to destroy yourself as well?" I said. Damn it. The bottle of vodka was almost all gone. I finished it reluctantly.

"No. I couldn't… without seeing them both again." Juri's eyes became blank as if watching a scene universes away.

"Who?"

"No one." She coughed, but I saw her fingers caress her pendant again.

"Your defenses are wide open, Captain." I said, smiling a little. "Why are you telling me any of this? Answer my question from earlier."

"For Miki," she said simply. My heart stopped beating for a moment.

"If you want me to be emotionally stable, helping me booze it up is not really the best strategy," I started, giggling. I heard the hysteric edge to my laughter and didn't care.

"I don't need to to be emotionally stable. I just need you to actually have feelings. Do you know why Miki abandoned you? Because he began to think you were an emotionless whore that lived only to have sex. And that doesn't exist in his egg of the world. He's just a chick, Kozue." I glared at her. "I know that was harsh. But there it is. He's goddamn naive. We know that. But we want to take away his ignorance, not his purity."

"Is that even possible? I rasped. "Haven't you ever heard it? ' When you are surrounded by corruption, there is no choice but to become impure yourself?' Why try, Juri, when we're all going to fail?" I was yelling at her now. Sweat dripped down my temple, and the only things dizzier than my head were my swirling emotions.

"Calm down, Kozue." Juri's face hardened. "I just don't want to screw it up again. Do you hear me?"

"Again?" I guffawed. "Great, now I have terrific confidence in you." Juri slapped me, and I started laughing for the second time.

"Snap out of it! You think you're better just because you haven't enticed Miki into your corruption? Like I did Shiori? I know how this works, Kozue, and you're a hell of a fool for not listening to me. I twisted Shiori, I warped her. And you know what? It all got turned back on me. Save yourself to save Miki before you both go to hell!" Her grip on my wrists was painful.

"Let go, witch," I spat.

"What did you just call me?"

"What? The name witch too wimpy for you, bitch?"

"I don't mind being called a bitch, but I'm no witch." Her gaze was penetratingly angry.

"Whatever, witch." She shook with fury. I know I'm a masochist. But it looks like I turning to sadism now. Juri shoved me off my seat. I got up back quickly, throwing a punch aiming for her left eye, but she blocked it easily. I was more drunk than she.

"Get the hell out of here, Kozue. Don't go near the dueling games, don't talk to any of the Student Council members or to Tenjou. I swear that you will not get wrapped up in this." Juri massaged her temple, pacing back and forth. "If you won't take my other advice, at least heed that warning." She sighed.

"Wow, you're more messed up than I thought you were," I said, my words slurred, but still sharp. I shoved past her and grabbed a bottle of rum. A sweet drink for a bitter girl. Contrasts are intoxicating. Familiar and yet so different. That's how I wish Miki and I were. That way he would love me. Not tolerate me. Juri stole the bottle back from out of my hands, but as I was about to retaliate, the sound of a death knell rang. The sound of bells ominously tolling. The bottle crashed to the ground, splattering sickly sweet liquor all over us.

"Shit!" Juri cursed. In a moment, she was out the door, sprinting in the direction of the forest at the back of the school. I followed unthinkingly. We ran up marble steps to a strange door that looked like a carved Pegasus. Juri yanked on the door, and we were inside the forest. Then, we stopped short. Touga was confronting us.

"What are you doing, Juri?" he asked, his voice disarmingly humorous. "Came to see the duel? But you can't bring Kozue along. She's not a duelist." He crossed his arms.

"What is this crap, Touga?" I shot back.

"Is this a message from End of the World?" Juri seemed solemn, although I could sense her panicking.

"Yes." Touga curled his lips into a beautifully cruel smile.

"Damn," Juri muttered. "I didn't plan for you to come, Kozue, but it's too late now. You might as well know." She grabbed my wrist and we ran to the school tower, riding the elevator until we reached a viewing platform. "The duel is starting." Her voice was unsteady. I looked down, and somehow saw an Arena where that pink-haired girl and Miki were… fencing? No, they were dueling. That Himemiya just stared from the sideline.

"What are they doing?" I wondered. It looked dangerous. Not a match, but a fight.

"Indeed." I bristled at Akio's interruption. "They're just sparring a little, my dear. I'm surprised you didn't know. You're brother is a fencer on the national level." Juri's expression told me what I was supposed to do. Because I was not supposed to be here.

"Oh!" I titter. "I haven't been talking to my brother much, I guess. I'm just a little busy.' I grabbed Juri's hand and leaned closer to her. I batted my eyelashes at her. Her laughter was warm. Huh. A decent actor, unlike I had surmised.

"I see. Well, you two behave yourselves. See you around the school." Akio didn't believe us, but he turned to walk away.

"Tenjou's right. Being seated in front of the piano suits you better, Miki," Juri remarks wistfully. Even though it was the last bit of acting, I could hear some sincerity in it. Akio's faint chuckle still haunted me, though, as he closed the door behind him.

"Not, bad, Juri," I whispered. She punched my shoulder and glued her eyes to the duel, worry coming off of her in waves.

"Pay attention." At that moment, the bells rang again. Miki was staring at Tenjou, and though I could not see his exact expression, I could feel it. That expression of deep pain and disappointment. Disbelief. Juri sucked in a breath.

"Hey." I touched Juri's shoulder. "I'm going to leave. Miki needs me."

"No. Stop." Juri's voice was gruff. "You won't be able to get to him as you are."

"Then how do you suggest I touch his heart again?"

"I don't know." Juri put her head in her hands. "I don't know what to say. That's… incest. You can't do that to him." I cackled. What did she know? Passion this deep can't suddenly go.

"I won't go to him. Yet."

"Does Miki need you, or do you need him?"

"Both. We're twins right?" I left Juri and returned to the dorm. It was empty as ever. Tired and dazed still from the alcohol, I made tea and poured it into Miki's mug. It did nothing to clear my mind. Then I went and put on his pyjamas. Curling up in his bed, I stared over at mine. It was so far away. Was that what he felt like? In a sudden burst of energy, I stood up and pushed the two beds together to make one. That was what it should be like. Would be like. Right?


	7. Dormance

_Second part of the double update, but first part of a mini-arc. I'm feeling evil ;)_

**Dormance**

"Miss Kaoru, may I speak with you after class?" Mrs. Hamada said, tapping my desk with her ruler. I grimace, roll my eyes, then nod. "I'd appreciate it if you showed me a little more respect, Miss Kaoru." I scoffed. "Detention, too, Miss Kaoru. Now, for the love of roses, please open your calculus textbook."

"Why doesn't this genius girl just go to college instead of disrupting my high school class?" I heard her mutter under her breath as she made the rounds in the classroom. It was a silly task. What was the point of making sure everyone was studying? Anyone who wanted a good grade would study. Those who didn't need to study or just didn't care wouldn't have to crack a book. I'm surrounded by ignorance.

At last, the bell rung. I didn't stay behind, but Mrs. Hamada caught up to me in the hall. I ground my teeth and turned to face her. "What do you want?"

"Miss Kaoru. The other teachers and I have been very concerned about your grades. We understand that you're a very brilliant student and just wouldn't start slacking off without reason."

"How would you know?" I crossed my arms.

"Miss Kaoru, please. We've set up an appointment with one of our counselors, Professor Souji Mikage. He specializes in talking with gifted young adults like yourself. You may even join the prestigious Black Rose Seminar." I opened my mouth to protest, but she stopped me. "You are going, as an order from the Acting Chairman. After last period and detention, go to Nemuro Memorial Hall. The receptionist will direct you to the room."

"Yay," I said sarcastically.

"Be there," Mrs. Hamada warned, walking away.

"That was very rude of you." Damn it, Miki. Why now? I slowly rotated to see him standing, clutching his music books as always. His blue eyes were as clear as the morning sky, even as he frowned. His music teacher squeezed his shoulder.

"Is this your sister, my dear Mickey?" he inquired, his oily words dripping with grease. I felt like retching. How dare he touch Miki.

'Kozue Kaoru and displeased to make your acquaintance."

"Kozue."

"Miki." We seemed to stare into each other's eyes for a millennium. I was drowning in pools of blue. The warning bell rung, threatening the start of fifth period. I broke away and hurried to the odd refuge of the classroom. There, on my desk, was a paper packet. I opened it hurriedly. Maybe… no. It wasn't konpeito. It was just my academic honors pin for last grading period. I laughed to myself. I was an idiot.

I barely made it through the rest of the school day. Detention was unbearable. I just wanted to go home and sleep, but I was besieged by my old friends Insipids One and Two. They had gotten in trouble for sneaking sweets to their boyfriends during Japanese Literature. They wanted to talk to me about my supposed new boyfriend. I fed them some blither blather and observed them making fools out of themselves.

I pretended to listen to their pedantic complaints as I replayed the earlier scene in my mind over and over. I didn't like how that teacher held Miki. It looked wrong. Shaking, I stood up and raced out of the room in the middle of detention. Miki would be alone with the teacher right now. Tomorrow was the competition. I had a sinking feeling.

Racing over to the performing arts complex, I quickly spotted Miki and the teacher. They were in a secluded part of one of the smaller rose garden. Even though I did not really see Miki's discomfort, I felt it. Rage insinuated its way into my brain. What was he doing to my twin?

The teacher left the garden, and Miki, just about as I reached it. He began to travel down the very long set of stairs that went to the ground level of the school. I had to wring his scrawny neck, break his putrid arms. No one has the right to touch Miki that way. Stealthily, I crept up behind him and shoved him as hard as I could down the steps. He tumbled forward, screaming and groaning until he crashed at the bottom.

"Kozue!" I heard the tapping of light running footsteps and spun around. Miki was a mess, his hair tousled, his jacket buttoned incorrectly. "Why did you do that? Why, Kozue?" Tears were streaming from his face, and I reached out to wipe them away. He jerked back. I felt as stone.

"He hurt you, Miki," I told him seriously. "What he was doing to you was not right."

"But he's a teacher."

"He's a molester!" I yelled at him. "What were you thinking?"

"He threatened me…he said he would go after you if I told." My jaw dropped. I grabbed Miki by the shoulders and shook him.

"To hell with protecting me, Miki! I can take care of myself."

"Then why don't you? Look at yourself, Kozue. I can't even see my sister in you anymore. I guess I shouldn't have tried. I can't even pretend that nothing is wrong with you anymore." He walked away, and I collapsed to the ground, head bowed, legs bent. He didn't… no more.

That damned sunlit garden was seducing his heart and mind. We had changed. Change has to happen. But we are still, at the core, the same in the end. So what does that mean for me? my soul must be twisted beyond belief. What a yin and yang pairing we are. One tear made its way down my cheek. I swore it would be my last for Miki. I would fight for him now. I can't be the princess expecting to be saved. We might as well be children playing mindlessly in a rose garden, the brother acting the prince for his sister.

Gingerly, I got up and walked to Nemuro Memorial Hall. I've never been there before, but I've heard it's mostly just a gathering place for ambitious geniuses like Miki, but nothing more. As I opened the front door, Miki was walking out. He gave no sign of having recognized me, walking past me as if I was a mere ghost. Dead. My heart felt as hard and cold as a diamond. I sashayed past him up to the receptionist. Funny thing, I could barely see the receptionist's face. So I just filled out the form and followed the pointing hand signs to the door.

"I'm Kaoru Kozue, 7th grade, Class B." I announced, sitting down on the stool. There was a darkened window, which Mikage was most likely behind. I decided to just accept it. Super geniuses are strange. I saw a slight smile grace his mouth. I don't know why I shivered.

"Well, please begin." Somehow, his impersonal voice calmed me down. He sounded like a robot, not a person. I decided just to babble. He wanted a sob story? I'll give him one.

"I have a twin brother. Miki Kaoru." There was suddenly a sinking feeling in my stomach, as if I was in an elevator. But I kept on going. "He has treated me fondly ever since we were little. lately, though, even if he pretends that nothing is wrong…" I made fists. "If something happens to sully me, he pretends not to have noticed." My voice grew quiet.

"Even though inside he is hurt and obsesses over me." The story was only half true. I wish that he cared. "That's why I go out with people Miki would hate. On purpose." That was true. Because maybe, maybe if he saw how wrong it was for me to be with anyone else, he would come back to me. Well, a few days ago perhaps. But my chance had vanished. I squeezed my eyes shut. "However…"

"Deeper. Go deeper," Mikage said. I saw a glimpse of pink hair as he leaned forward. My heart felt so heavy at this moment. If it would just stop beating…

"But… Miki's attention and obsession is slowly turning to that other woman. I'm no longer a part of his world. He no longer looks at me." I was trembling as rage and hurt coursed through my veins. There was a metallic thump that almost shook me out of my seat. What the hell was going on? I looked behind me, and a figure that must have been Souji Mikage greeted me with a slow smile. His eyes were blank and soulless.

"I guess you have no choice but to revolutionize the world," he murmured, turning away through a door that I swear was not there before.

"What kind of hokey roleplay club is this?" I scoffed.

"The way before you has been prepared." Mikage's voice was serious as he ignored my comment. Geniuses may be geniuses, but they're idiots. Me included. If I stopped living in my damn head all the time, maybe I wouldn't care as much about Miki. Ha! As if.

I followed Mikage into a room filled wall to wall with drawers. He pulled one open. It was long for a drawer, too long. I started to shake when I saw two corpses entwined in what I realized was a coffin. What crazy shit was going on in this building? I saw the features on their faces, and they looked like Miki and I. They were so lucky to be together like that, hands laced together. Mikage started to disconnect their hands.

"No! Don't!" I yelled reflexively.

"It's quite alright, future duelist. Sometimes things must break apart together." He put their hands back together and held the item he had retrieved up to the dim light. I sucked in my breath, stepping away. A rose crest ring, like Miki's. But black. Suddenly, I reached for it. It could, no, it would bring me back to Miki. Bring him back to me.

"This room leads to the Ends of the World, and the Black Rose has chosen you." I willingly gave him my left hand. "The Black Rose Signet." He put the crest on my ring finger, his eyes filled with cold satisfaction. I didn't know what this was about, and though I had an idea, I didn't care, I just wanted Miki. I wanted my miracle. I didn't care what Juri said. A boy appeared before me who looked strangely like Himemiya. He held a black rose in his hands. Wasn't that… unnatural? I couldn't think straight.

"This rose is your new heart and your new life." He held me by the waist, and before I knew what was happening thrust the rose into my chest. I screamed. It felt like I was burning from the inside, a fever consuming me. I could feel my eyes glaze over. Miki… Miki… I had to get to Miki. I joined the twins in their coffin.

"Where is your twin?" they asked me, assaulting me with venomous gazes. "There is no place for you here. You must duel. Duel and win the power to keep you together forever. Go!" They pushed me out of the coffin, and I fell onto cold stone floor. The sound of melancholy piano music made me look around me. Where was I? Deliberately, carefully, I opened the door before me. My heart constricted. Miki sat there in front of the piano.

Then a strange feeling took over. He would be mine. I just needed to take him. I just needed to duel for him. Miki's playing stopped without warning.

"Kozue? Kozue…" he trailed off. I could see the pity in his eyes and felt like laughing. I caressed his soft cheek, not yet touched by a razor, and trailed my hand down to rest at his hip. It felt so right, I knew his body better than I knew my own, I couldn't help myself. So I kissed him. He tasted better than I remember, after missing him for so long. But I had to hurry, so I pulled back. His eyes spoke for him. What was I doing?

"That ring?!" he breathed.

"Isn't it nice? It matches yours, just like twins." I touched his chest, right over his heart. His warmth filled the cold emptiness that was eating away at me. "And here is one of the roses that blooms at the Ends of the World." Utter bliss exploded in me as the hilt of a sword burst from Miki's chest. I drew it and quietly reveled in the feeling it gave me as Miki's life energy coursed through me. Miki groaned, a beautiful sound. I gently laid him down and left the room. I had to complete this quest. For then, all of Miki would be mine.


	8. Awakening

_A/N: Hello all. Updates shall henceforth continue weekly, since I seriously want to finish this fic. Warning: More mature language in this chapter than usual. Shouldn't be a problem, but just to let you know._

**Awakening**

Last night, Miki had offered me a milkshake, just like the ones we had had when we were little. The fool. Just like the konpeito, vanilla ice cream is too sweet, too pure. He should know by now. I can't reach him that way anymore. I'm not a girl. I'm a woman. A woman who wants him like she wants a man. But Miki is still a boy. A fucking boy that only a revolution could make him into the man he refuses to be.

"Upon the Black Rose I swear. I will win this duel and kill the Rose Bride." I smirked at the astonishment on Tenjou Utena's face. So naive, so trusting. No wonder she and Miki were friends. Allowing their damn idealism to blind them. I glanced at Himemiya, the Rose Bride whatever the hell that meant. She was emotionless as ever, but I saw the hidden malice in her eyes. She was just like me. A witch.

"It's the Black Rose again," Utena murmured, horror in her eyes.

"That may be," Anthy replied calmly. So Miki had a type now, did he? Seemingly empty girls with a hint of spite. He shouldn't have wasted his time. I'm the epitome of that archetype. He couldn't avoid it anymore. I would make sure he would not.

"Now, Tenjou Utena! Draw your sword! Do it, or else I'll take the Rose Bride!" I flicked Miki's soul sword left, enjoying the sensation of its pulse in my hands. Moving to the preparatory position I had always seen Miki practice, I pointed the blade at Utena. Sweat dripped down her brow. Anthy was going to die, just like she should. I would take her place, and the Revolution would bring Miki to me.

"That pose. It's the same one Miki uses!" She realized. I chuckled to myself. So observant. "Grant me the power to revolutionize the world!" Utena drew the Sword of Dios from Anthy, brilliant light blazing outward from them in every direction. I don't know how the hell I know all of this, so it must have been Miki in the soul sword. I tightened my grip on the hilt, vaguely hearing Miki moan in the back of my mind. As soon as Utena had drawn the sword, I darted towards her nimbly. It seemed all the muscle memory Miki had built up from his years of fencing was now mine.

"Snap out of it!" Utena yelled as we fought furiously. "You're not thinking straight!" She grunted as I tried to force her blade away. Utena jumped back, and I used that second to prepare myself and stabbed at her again.

"Anthy must die" I screamed. I jabbed, and she parried. "I want everyone to disappear! Miki and I are the only ones worthy of existence. I knocked the Sword of Dios out of Utena's hand, and it went flying to sheath itself in the Arena floor.

"Her skill is amazing." Utena tried to regain her breath. Idiot.

"This is Miki's brilliance." I rotated my blade so that Utena could see her own frightened reflection in it. "It's over." I smiled, then rushed at her, aiming for that white rose. So close, so close, so close… Utena flipped backwards, making me miss her rose at the last second. Shit. She took up her sword again, and Anthy blessed it somehow with magic. I could only stand there paralyzed as a mirage like figure came down from the castle, turning Utena's hair lavender, eyes green, and skin dark.

With a yell, Utena pounced. I tried to jump back in time, but the Sword of Dios stripped me of my rose, the petals tearing and dissolving on the wind. No… no… I heard bells ringing as I fell to the ground, life seeming to drain out of me. No… I vaguely felt the Black Rose ring crumble, just like my hope. No, please… Please… As I drifted into unconsciousness, I could hear the song that my mother used to sing to Miki and I. No…

"_Hair tied back,_

_Carrying my bento,_

_A mysterious charm, fii, fii,_

_Amusement parks…"_

I let the darkness surround me. Miki's soul sword was mine no more. The emptiness filled me and took me in.

I woke up in my own bed. Miki was rusting around. I knew it was him; I had memorized his footstep, but why was he here? He hadn't slept in our room for month. Yet there he was, in his pajamas, gazing at the milkshake tray. Both glasses were empty. The painful fondness grew again in my cold heart. He sat delicately on his bed, facing me curiously.

"What happened to that Black Rose Crest ring?" he asked, brow furrowed. He was so fucking beautiful. I couldn't bring myself to tell him what had occurred if he had already forgotten. He didn't need to know. This part of my desperation I would keep to myself.

"What Rose Crest ring?" It was hard making myself innocent. Miki blinked his blue eyes, smoothing down his hair quickly. "Did I really faint from anemia?" That was it. It was easy to blame it on illness. I wish he won't disregard our kiss, though. I saw the gears in his mind turning as he remembered the symptoms of anemia and tried to connect my actions to them. It made sense enough, because he nodded slowly. I screamed inside. After all this time, he still doesn't get it. He's too willing to believe what is told to him, as long as it fits with his twisted ideals.

"Yes, so just take it easy. Alright?" He stood up, then leaned down to kiss my cheek. His lips felt like rose petals, soft. I wanted to cry. I was always so close. So close, and yet so far.

"Hey, will you make me a milkshake?" Perhaps that was the way I could draw him in. Through false purity. I knew well as I downed the cursed sweet drink that it would rot my teeth. But I was willing to take the risk to get Miki back. I'm one of two twins. But now I shall live a different type of double life. The milkshake was cold and so sugary as it coated my throat so that I felt like I would suffocate. I smiled up at Miki, who smiled tentatively back.

"Good night, Kozue." One day, I swear, he will say that with a different type of affection in his tone. I swear it. I fell into sleep.

"Hello, Juri." I drawled. The morning was bright. I leaned back on the marble wall, enjoying the sensation of sunshine. The light bounced off of Juri's orange curls and highlighted her flawless profile. Her perfect figure, her queenly bearing, no wonder so many fell for her. It turned out Miki hadn't, but I still envied their closeness.

"Kozue," she nodded, propping herself up on the column across from me. She raised an eyebrow. "Miki is worried about you. Says you have anemia. Why are you out and about?"

"Nothing can contain me." I shrugged.

"Except Miki," Juri mused. "And even then. Did you hear of the music teacher who fell down the steps the other day? He thinks he might have been pushed. No one really knows, but hey say he got a phone call threatening that the next time, the punishment will be worse." So Juri knew. I laughed, but she waited for a reply anyways.

"And? What does that have to do with me?"

"It has everything to do with you," she huffed. "Kozue, you need to be more discreet. The adults are in charge here."

"So you're saying that I should just let that slime fucking molest Miki?" I crossed my arms, not afraid to let my bitterness out. This is Juri. She can handle it.

"No, that's not what I meant." Her eyes grew dark and sad, and silence hung between us like the weight of a thousand swords. She really did care for Miki like a sister, didn't she? If we could only switch places so that he would accept my romantically. No. He wouldn't anyway, would he? Being twins really is the only thing that keeps us together now.

"Do you want to have sex?" I asked randomly. I needed the release so badly.

"What the hell?" Juri scowled. "Are you crazy?"

"Yes."

"No way in hell. Even if I didn't think of you as a troubled little sister, no. You're mad. And unstable. And rude. And you very well know that I only want Shiori." I whistle. Her aura was cold as ice.

"So she finally admits it."

"Just because rejection made you a slut doesn't mean it did the same to me," Juri spat. Oh no she didn't. I grabbed her collar angrily. "I can't help you, Kozue, if you don't help yourself."

"The same to you. You're pathetic, you know that? You act all cool and calm, but it's just a mask so that no one see what a loser you are." Juri grabbed my wrists, shaking with rage.

"Better to be a posing Ice Queen than a lascivious whore." She shoved me to the ground. "You'd better fucking stop this shit right now. You're so close to destroying yourself. If you don't let Miki go and move on, then you're going to wither away and burn like cut flowers in an incinerator." The hate contained in her glare was enough to part an ocean.

"Then you move on," I yelled, scrambling to my feet. "You fucking hypocrite."

"I can't." Juri froze.

"Well, I can't either." We stood there, silence taking over once more.

"So how do we?" she asked at last.

"And do we really want to?" I countered.

"No," we said in unison.

"We're going to ruin ourselves," I sighed, running my hair through my messed up hair. "We knew this already. And yet…"

"We had hope anyway." Juri groaned. "Do you still want to have sex?"

"No." I didn't even have enough energy to walk, practically. Not after my outburst.

"Then lets get drinks. I'm sick of being conscious."

"So are we drinking partners now?" I asked.

"I guess so." It was a strange catharsis. After yelling at Juri, I felt a little freer. It was good to have someone to talk to, who would take all my anger.

"Thank you."

"Anytime." Juri slung an arm around my shoulder. "Let's go to my suite. We should invite Saionji, too. You know, the Student Council Vice President. He's used to rejection, too."

"Oh, that's right. You have all that liquor." At last we reached Juri's home. I immediately put my head down on the granite counter. "It would be so much easier if I had never been born."

"You know, we ended up arguing about the same things as we did that other time when you were here with Touga," Juri said, choosing to ignore my earlier comment. "We haven't really made any effort at all to change since then. In fact, we've gotten worse. She laughed humorously. "The duels are a sick joke, you know. Miracles don't exist."

"And yet we keep on trying," I whispered. I sat up slowly, watching Juri as she poured chilled white wine. "So her name is Shiori?"

"Yes." Juri handed me a glass. I swirled the glass before taking a sip. Juri undid the top button on her uniform.

"Whoa, I thought we weren't having sex." Juri rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, Kozue."

"She's pretty."

"Thank you." Juri's eyes softened. "But she's toxic. You know, there was a time when I wasn't fencing captain. I had another friend on the team, and Shiori was friends with both of us. He liked me, she got jealous, and she decided to take him away. She didn't realize that she hurt me by making herself unreachable, not him." Juri's tone was very restrained, as if she was talking about another's struggles.

"Why did you tell me this? Why do you trust me?"

"I don't know." Juri reached for the wine bottle again. "Maybe I think you'll listen to me more." She set the empty bottle back on the counter. "Do you think we'll fight anymore?"

"I don't know if I have the energy to."

"Good. It's hard to hurt someone like you who is already hurting."

"Is that pity?"

"No. Just fact. Morals."

"Morals," I snorted.

"Yes, morals. Kozue, what is it going to take you to stop loving Miki that way?"

"I'd like to know. What is it going to take you to stop loving Shiori that way."

"Loving Miki would be incestuous for you."

"And loving Shiori would be abusive for you."

"So were stuck." The wine glasses were empty. I sighed.

"Juri, if you had the power to revolutionize the world, what would you do with it?"

"I don't believe in miracles."

"But what if?"

"I might wish that Shiori loved me back. That or that I didn't love Shiori."

"Exactly. So the only thing we can do now is to search for revolution."

"Even though it's hopeless?"

"Yes." I stood up, grabbing shot glasses and whiskey. "To revolution, for the right reasons." We downed the shots. "We're fucked."

"But we'll find a way to make it alright," Juri said. "We could do it, you know. Pretend you and I are having an affair."

"It'd destroy Miki."

"But then it would open his eyes."

"I thought I was the one with the insane ideas." I was on my third shot of whiskey.

"You're right. It's not a good idea. But let's be here for each other, anyways. This isn't over." Juri took the rest of the bottle of whiskey and downed it, fire in her eyes. "We'll make this right somehow or die trying."


	9. Regrowth

_A/N: After a small eternity of not posting anything! I'm back! With all my school work, I've realized regular posting is nigh impossible, but never fear! There are only three chapters after this. Hopefully this pleases!_

**Regrowth**

"Faito, faito!" chanted the gaggle of girls surrounding me as we ran through Ohtori's halls for physical education. I kept up easily, but didn't chatter with the rest of them. There was nothing worth saying, nothing worth hearing. Idiocy. Until…

"Did you hear that tree with the baby birds in it is being cut down after school today?" I looked to the noise. The shadow girls. I muttered under my breath.

"I know, it's so terrible!" another replied. I stopped then and there, glaring at the wisps of spirits adorning the wall. Why the hell did they have to make my life more miserable by telling me of such things? They were pointing to a large tree, grinning mockingly. "I wonder if anyone will save them? Anyone at all? Or are they just lost twins to the world, and has their mother abandoned them? I wonder, I wonder. Do you know? I wonder."

"Shut up, you cold-hearted bitches," I hissed to them. I looked outside hurriedly to the tiny nest that held the two chicks, so vulnerable. No. I was halfway out the window before my brain registered what I was doing. I was going to save those chicks. If not Miki and myself, those chicks. Time an space seemed to stop as I leapt to the tree branch, pushing off from the windowsill. A weird dream, a disturbing mirage. Screams from vapid Ohtori school girls ricocheted off the walls. I caught the tree branch. The babies squeaked.

"Shh, it's alright," I cooed, placing my feet carefully on the branch below. With one hand, I reached for the nest, gripping the branch with my other hand. I froze when a small rumble traveled through the tree. With a resounding crack, the branch under my feet broke off. A gasp went up in the courtyard. "Damnit!" I had miscalculated. As always. My arm trembled. The birds must not fall. Must not fall. With all the strength I could muster, I hoisted myself up onto the upper branch, which was thankfully stronger than the last. Why was it never easy? It would be hell trying to climb down the tree from there. I looked at the slick wall to my side, which nevertheless had more footholds than the tree. It was my only chance. I jumped. I landed.

"Kozue!" Utena Tenjou's annoying voice rang out across the courtyard. The distraction threw me off. I was almost there. Just over the window, that was all it took. I clung to the side of the building desperately, shielding the birds with my body.

"Just leave the birds, it's not worth it!" Insipid One called. I gritted my teeth. "You can make it back up."

"Kozue…" Miki's words were magnified, and I lost all semblance of concentration. His perfect, terrible voice.

"Miki." The words left my mouth before I yelped. My feet slipped, and I held onto the wall with one puny, weak hand. No, no, no. I fell like a bird dashed by a storm. All I could see was the infernal blue of the sky. Miki's eyes. Eggshells. Reality hit me hard. Then the gentle pressure of saving arms.

"Kozue!" Miki yelled in relief, cradling me in his arms atop of Utena. "Oh goodness, your ankle!" How stupid I was being. And yet, this was how the world rewarded stupidity. The only reason I didn't laugh with joy was because of the pain in her ankle. "You've sprained it."

"Are you alright, Miss Kozue?" Tenjou asked, guileless concern in her eyes.

"Yes." A lie. But then, what truths did I tell these days? I looked down to the protesting baby birds cradled in the nest, safe and sound. My cheeks felt wet, and I realized I was crying, fat, hot tears suspended midair. What had happened to our nest? The nest Miki and I once had, safe, cared for, loved? Gone. Gone, all of it. I stood up, then fell back down.

"Kozue, your ankle!" Miki chastised, catching me. "You shouldn't walk on it so soon!" His reprimand was lost in the milling about in the courtyard. The rest of Ohtori was carrying on with their business as if it didn't matter, as if the whole event didn't matter. Who cared if a tree was cut down? There were always more. Who cared if a nest was destroyed? The world is bigger than a few chicks. Who cared about the ones left behind? No one, and they couldn't even take care of themselves.

"Himemiya and will go get some bandages to wrap your ankle. I'm sure your smart brother knows how to from fencing," Utena said cheerily.

"Indeed," Himemiya said emptily as usual. "He knows a great deal of things." Miki blushed, scratching his head shyly.

"Not really, Miss Anthy." I felt like puking.

"We'll be back with the supplies in just a bit!" Utena promised as Himemiya giggled. Hateful, hateful. They walked off, and I hoped that they wouldn't return, bandage or no. Miki set me down on one of the courtyard's many benches.

"You shouldn't be so reckless, Kozue," Miki muttered, crossing his arms. "You could have gotten seriously hurt."

"Well, I didn't. And I couldn't let these birds die." I smiled slightly. "I wouldn't have cared if I had died myself."

"Kozue! That's terrible! What would Mother and Father say if they heard you right now?"

"Is that what matters to you? What they think?" The air seemed heavier than usual; it was hard to breathe.

"That's not what I meant."

"Liar." I couldn't look away from his pained blue eyes, pleading with me, begging. I couldn't give him what he wanted, though. I couldn't.

"We've got the bandage!" Tenjou interrupted loudly. For once, I was thankful for her brash idiocy and tactlessness. Miki accepted the proffered cloth and wrapped my ankle with delicate, nimble fingers, as light and graceful as when he played piano. "You should probably carry her home, huh?" Tenjou suggested, hands on her hips. "We want Miss Kozue to get better. Will you carry the birds, Himemiya?"

"Of course, Miss Utena." No, not my chicks! But I oddly didn't say anything, letting myself be carried by Miki, leaning into his warmth, revelling in the stolen bit of hope. A moment, please, world. We started to head home.

"Don't hug me so close, it's hot out here," Miki complained.

"It's more comfortable, though," I replied.

"You really should be more careful," Tenjou said, throwing our suitcases over her shoulder. "Your brother is worried about you."

"Aw, are you really worried about me?" I baited Miki. He wouldn't provoke.

"I said not to lean so hard." At last we reached our dorm, and Miki put me down in a chair. He turned away immediately, not meeting my eyes.

"I'll just leave your suitcases here." Tenjou sait them down right by the steps.

"I apologize for the inconvenience." She waved Miki's apology away.

"What about these little friends of yours?" Himemiya asked, holding up the nest. My heart panged.

"Oh! Now that we have them home, how do we take care of them?" Miki wondered, crouching down to where Himemiya set the nest. Was I not to be consulted at all? They were mine!

"Perhaps we should start by feeding them some ground millet." she suggested. That's what you feed sparrows and the like. Grind it up in hot water, and feed them every three hours, since they're babies." All the while, that bizarre pet of Himemiya's floated through the air like a balloon. It blew a raspberry at me. I know I'm jealous; thank you for reminding me. I glared at it.

"Have you ever raised chicks before, Miss Himemiya?" Miki asked.

"No, never."

"But you're knowledgeable. You're a real animal lover, aren't you?"

"You really should return them to their mother-" I interrupted her by standing up. They would not be going back to their helpless, careless mother if I had anything to say about it. "Oh, is your ankle feeling better?"

"Thank you for your concern, but seeing that you brought us all this way, the sweet little sister will now politely disappear." I let the venom show in my voice, and Miki frowned at me disapprovingly. "Enjoy yourselves." I was about to leave the room when a white rose petal on the table caught my attention. No, not a rose petal. A letter. My throat constricted when I read the return address.

"Is that letter from that person?" My question hung in the air.

"Yes." Miki suddenly stood up and handed it to me, ordering me to comply with his eyes. Resentment, disbelief, fear. Why was he acting like this? It was nothing new that I hated our parents. "You read it now." He turned to Tenjou and Himemiya. "It's a letter from our mother."

"Oh, really? I don't have parents, so I'm always quite jealous of things like that," Tenjou said jovially. I felt like shoving her.

"We don't need parents," I said, challenging Miki. Then I changed my tone to something lighter. "We're wild animals, after all." Yes, that is what we were. Birds with a faulty nest who didn't know how to fly once the world's shell broke.

"Don't talk about it like that," Miki threatened. "Father and Mother always worry about us so much." I scoffed internally. If that was true, why was Miki struggling with an anger disorder? Why did I have one foot in anxiety and the other in depression? If they truly worried, truly cared, it wouldn't be this way. I needed to cover our tracks. I could not let Miki explode in front of everyone else. I just couldn't.

"Oh, no! Now he's being too serious," I said airily, throwing the letter over my shoulder into the trash can below where it belonged. Time stopped. I smiled at Miki in triumph, although I knew it was short-lived.

"Well, I think we'd better get going now," Tenjou announced, laughing awkwardly.

"Indeed," Himemiya agreed.

"Thank you for all your help!" Miki said brightly, ushering them out the door. Once the left he slammed the door behind them and locked it. "What the hell was that, Kozue?"

"Ooh, cute little Miki is using swear words. He's such a big boy now," I taunted.

"Why are you provoking me?!"

"Because our parents don't care about us and you damn well know it! And you will never admit that you don't trust them, either!" I countered. He strode across the room and slapped me. I grabbed him by the collar and kicked him in the stomach. "Why won't you admit it?" Tears were coming on again; I couldn't handle the hatred he felt towards me. I tightened my grip on his collar.

"Let go of me, Kozue!" he yelled, shoving me away. "My sister is not a psychotic bitch!" I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I could only stare at him as he destroyed all rational thought so that he couldn't accept that I was his twin. "Do not speak to me until she returns."

"Miki. I am the only Kozue there is." So small. So fucking small, that's how my voice sounded.

"I don't know you," Miki spat.

"Fine. Then I'm going out for the night. Don't wait up for me, although you wouldn't anyways." I unlocked the door, stepped out, and shut it behind me. It was better this way. It had to be better this way. He couldn't love me, and I couldn't love him. There was no other way. No other way. It would work.

"What the hell are you doing, Kozue?" I looked, and there was Juri. "It's really late, if you haven't noticed already." Then she noticed my expression. "Damn, what's going on in there?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What's new?" she smiled wryly. I laughed hollowly. "I was going to see Miki about Student Council business, but I think it can wait. Let's go back to my dorm. You need me to carry you? Your ankle is wrapped." I pushed myself off the door, striding confidently. The pain was nothing on the excruciating feeling in my heart.

"I'm fine."

"Thought so." Juri smiled. "We're strong ones, aren't we?"

"Yes." The twilight made Ohtori seem like a ghost town. Empty, empty. But with movement nonetheless. Surreality took over, and the journey to Juri's rooms seemed like just that, a journey. A quest for sanity. We sat down at the small table in her kitchen.

"Are we drinking tonight?" I asked, setting my chin in my hands.

"You tell me," Juri said, sitting down. "I got a letter from Ruka. You know, the student who was fencing team captain and Student Council treasurer before I was."

"By the look on your face, hell yes."

"You know me too well." Juri set down a glass in front of me in only a few seconds time.

"A cocktail? Seriously, Juri?"

"You looked like you needed cheering up."

"And a cocktail is supposed to make me happy?"

"What is happiness anymore?" Several drinks later, I decided to call it a night. It wasn't time for getting drunk. It was time to fix the problem that was eating away at me. I bid Juri goodnight and started the trek back to the dorm. On my way, I stopped by the music room as if by instinct. Miki's music floated through the wide, open windows, melancholy and pristine. Every note painted a picture of him. An arpeggio like his powder blue hair, delicate chords like his lily white hands. A sforzando the color of his eyes.

"Well look who's here!" that annoying voice of Nanami Kiryu's broke the fantasy.

"Same to you," I huffed.

"What are you doing? I heard you were injured."

"Wild animals heal fast." I stuck out my leg and wiggled my ankle casually.

"Is that so? Well, that's fine, but only Student Council members are allowed out so late."

"I'm meeting someone." I said it impulsively, but I had a feeling He would appear. I needed Him to appear so that I could figure out his plan. Miki had no idea. Not even a clue.

"At this hour? But who?"

"A 'Daddy Long Legs'. Shall I introduce you?" I saw the glint of green at the corner of my eye.

"No, thank you." Nanami looked as puzzled as ever. I turned away and walked towards Akio, already starting to undo my silk uniform scarf.

"Care to go on a drive?" he asked lowly, his suggestive tone making me shiver.

"Yes, please." I placed my hand in his.


	10. Flush

_A/N: Hello! It's about to go down. After this chapter, there will be just one more plus an epilogue. After that, I will be revising and editing the whole fic, then re-uploading it here and then for the first time on IRG forums. Thank you all for your support, whether from a view, a like, a follow, or a favorite. Special shout out to gorgeousshutin and James Birdsong for your continued support! An extra huge shout out to cypsmian2 for wonderful guidance on the events of this chapter. I couldn't have done it without you! Without further ado, let us continue._

**Flush**

"How are you, Princess?" Akio asked at last as we careened down the road, the engine rumbling through our bodies and souls. I made an effort to sit relaxed in my seat, though I felt like clutching onto the sides. "Excited to meet your new mother?" My stomach dropped. A new mother? Miki didn't say anything about that. But wait. The letter...

"What?" I looked to his eyes for some answer, some hint, but nothing ever showed in his deviously soulless gaze. Just like his sister's, although Anthy's eyes are more vapid than evil. I wonder if they are twins as well. Funny that Miki and I should search the companionship of the other set of twins. Miki doesn't even realize his own need.

"Surely you've heard." A smirk unfurled on his face like the bloom of a rose. "My dear sister is soon to join your esteemed father in holy matrimony." Each word was punctuated by the streetlights above. "I'll be your uncle in law." My right hook met his perfect jaw, slamming into his nose. I grabbed for the steering wheel, but before I could blink, I was under Akio and his hand was around my neck. I couldn't think, I couldn't breath. "Calm down, niece." His appearance remained unmarred from my blow.

"Oh dear," he smiled. "You can't breathe." Weakly, I reached up to try to remove his hands. He chuckled lowly. Suddenly, he removed his hands and blessed air returned.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I screamed before the air was snatched from my lungs again when he pinned me to the car seat. I whimpered.

"What, want to stay pure? I deflowered you a long time ago, so it doesn't matter if I take you again now or not." The car kept speeding; actually it might have been accelerating. Akio gently slid my skirt up my legs. "Miki is not your Prince, Kozue. Because you're a witch."

"I know that!"

"Oh?" With that word, light was stolen from my grasp.

I woke up to Miki's blue eyes staring into mine. He looked angelic, a sonata of grace.

"Kozue!" He sat back, holding his forehead in relief. "Thank goodness. We should really go to the doctor's. It's the second time you've fainted this year. Your anemia might be worse." Clarity rushed back to my mind as the events of last night filled my mind. Shame threatened to overwhelm me. "What's wrong?"

"Miki, you need to duel."

"What?" Miki's face went white. He trembled. "Kozue, you aren't supposed to know about all of that. It's just the Student Council." I sat up slowly in bed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I wasn't supposed to let it slip. I wasn't supposed to let you know!" Out of the corner of my eyes I saw his hand raise to slap me. I caught both his wrists quickly. I noticed that they were much too thin, as if they would break in my grasp.

"Miki, what the fuck are you doing with your life?!" I stood up, eyes locked. "Your wrists are anorexically thin. Your anger disorder is out of hand. You have depression and you refuse to help yourself." I felt tears gushing down my cheeks. "Don't you see? This way, End of the World will win! I don't care how impossible the duels are; I don't care that we are all on the verge of collapse. We cannot let him keep doing this to us. We need to do something, regardless if it works all the way or not! If we give up, we're done for!"

"My shining thing is not coming back!" Miki yelled back, struggling.

"But we shouldn't want it to! You shouldn't want it to!" I screamed. He stopped struggling, his arms weak in mine.

"I can't believe you just said that." Miki's eyes were depths of despair. "I've been fighting for us for months, years. All of us duelists have. How dare you call that inconsequential, whether I've given up the fight or not."

"It's not inconsequential. It's a poison thorn that's splitting us apart." I made my voice kind, smoothing Miki's hair back. "In all the wrong ways. We are brother and sister. We were once best friends, once the greatest of companions. The sunlit garden is gone. We have to revolutionize the world, but not in the way we thought." I pulled him down to sit on the bed. "If we don't continue fighting, or else we'll be stuck in these brambles forever."

"You're so naive in that sense, Kozue," Miki uttered, clenching his fists. "There is no hope now." He laughed hollowly.

"Only if you don't let there be!" I shouted. He avoided my gaze. I shoved him down on the bed so that our eyes would meet, but still he looked away. "Look at me, Miki!"

"Let go of me before I lose my temper. Don't touch me." A rapier of pain skewered my heart. I slapped Miki, my nails raking bloody paths in his cheek. He shoved me off of him, rage apparent in his body. "You don't understand anything. All I wanted was for the sunlit garden to return. The shining thing which has carried me through every trial." My eyes, glazed with tears, saw Miki blurrily, as if through fog. His face was crazed, angrier and colder than I ever thought possible. For a moment, I almost saw Akio in him. No, that was crazy. Miki wasn't that terrible, right?

"You ruined the purity of our love, our love as siblings. I tried so hard to remain pure of heart, to have hope for a better future." He chuckled. "Why did I waste my time? My sister is never coming back, even if I revolutionize the world." I felt so powerless. I couldn't hurt my precious brother, for all he was hurting me.

"Please, Miki," I begged, reaching out to him.

"What, Witch?" He grabbed my wrist roughly. "You want me to duel, to take possession of the pure Miss Anthy and desecrate her, too? You want me to search for an impossible future? I wanted you to believe in my ignorance of your doings. Hell, I wanted to believe in my ignorance. It's all your fault I never won the duels!"

"Miss Anthy will be our mother if you don't do anything about it!" I panted. "That's who the stupid father you've always defended is really like."

"Liar!" Miki slammed my shoulder down. "It's your fault. Everything!"

"But part of the fault is yours, too!" I yelled. "You left me alone in my loneliest time! I needed love, intimacy! Understanding! Wasurena Sou…"

"Really?" He smiled sadly. "Konpeito? Why would you care about such stupid, childish things? Especially when you're such a slut? I wanted to protect you, like a proper brother. But a Witch isn't worth protecting like a Princess." He sighed, then turned away. "I'm done with you. I think I'll request a legal separation. There's no point in us being twins anymore." He walked away just like our mother did years ago and our first stepmother after her.

Exhausted. Exhausted, that's how I woke up. Miki wasn't there. Of course not. Like a machine, I put on my clothes stiffly, the hated blouse, skirt, and scarf. I almost couldn't see myself in the mirror. That's how ghostly I appeared. I floated, feeling emptier than the gaping hole in my heart. Leaving the dorm, I walked to Juri's suite, not replying to any of the hellos thrown my way. I knocked on her door.

"Kozue! What are you doing here so early in the morning?" Her simple happiness at seeing me made me break down crying. Tears streamed down my face. "Kozue?" she frowned. Then she noted my depression. What happened?" I only cried harder. She pulled me inside and shut the door. She embraced me, holding me close. "Kozue…"

"Miki," I whispered, clutching onto her.

"Kozue…" She patted my back comfortingly. "Dios. Why in the world can't Miki realize what is going on? He should have listened, but no." Juri pulled back to look me in the eye. "Kozue, you're staying with me until further notice. No way in hell am I leaving you alone with Miki. His anger is much too dangerous at this point. He needs to duel, or else he'll never find resolution. We'll never find resolution. Do you have an idea how to make that happen?"

"Touga," I said suddenly. "Touga knows Ends of the World. He can set up the duel. He owes me, anyway, and he's been different lately."

"You think that?" Juri asked. She pursed her lips. "I suppose so. He claims to have had a change of heart, but who can trust a playboy for sure?"

"It will work. It has to." I looked Juri in the eyes. "Take care of Miki for me, please. He'll go insane at this rate if his anger won't let him go. Promise?" Juri's eyes were shining, and I realized she was crying, too.

"I promise, Kozue." She put a hand on my shoulder. She sighed. "I wonder how different the dueling game would have been if we had all supported each other from the beginning instead of turning on each other. It went just as Akio planned."

"We still have time. Tenjou is still engaged to Anthy, right? We should all support her, now. It will be tricky because the duels aren't over yet. We'll fight our best, of course." I took Juri's hands in mine. "No matter who wins, we all need to stick together. Even Touga and Saionji, Nanami, and if the plan works, no, when it works, Miki. We need to keep on dueling, keep on deceiving Ends of the World. Only then will we get a chance at revolution."

"Yes." The seed of hope sprung in me with Juri's word. "It will work. It has to work. We can't let Tenjou know explicitly, because then the duels will look fake. She'll get there. She'll reach revolution. It will be a true miracle, but all we need is for her to reach it. Her reason is the most pure of any of ours."

"Juri, I need a drink," I interrupted.

"What?" In the moment, her surprise seemed comical. So I laughed.

"Don't worry. It's not for me. It's for Miki. He needs a milkshake or two." Juri's eyebrows quirked. Then she smiled. Then she bust out guffawing.

"Kozue! At a time like this…" she reigned herself back in. "So by 'take care of him' you meant 'get him drunk'? Will he even accept alcohol?"

"Probably not." I shrugged. "But it's a funny thought."

"Alright, then." Juri smiled wearily. "You really have guts, don't you?" She hugged me again. "Let's do this." She let go, and I made to move out the door. "Hey! Thanks for giving me hope." Juri smiled shyly, scratching the back of her neck.

"You're welcome." I bit my lip, then hurried off. I had a job to do. I slowed my pace so as not to seem suspicious and meandered through the dorm area. The first step; convincing Touga. I pressed the fancy doorbell. The speaker on the side bade me come in, so I did.

"In here!" he called from the hallway. I left the foyer and opened the door to one of his many sumptuous bedrooms. To my surprise, no girls were pleasuring him at the moment. it was just him gazing up at the high ceiling. "Oh. Hello, Kozue," he said, turning on his side to face me.

"Touga, I need a favor," I said, steeling myself.

I thought you would ask soon enough." He smiled lazily.


	11. Unfold

_A/N: So at last return, bearing news that may either be satisfying or frustrating. I have written the final chapter, but it was so long I decided to split it into two. One part, now called "Unfold" as you see below, will be added today. The other, "Bloom", will be uploaded soon. Thank you to all who have kept this story going even through my shortcomings._

**Unfold**

"Miki?" I asked, opening the door to the small office in the Student Council room. Miki was surrounded by stacks of imposing paperwork. He ignored me. "Miki…"

"What do you want now, Kozue?" His voice was resigned almost to the point of disinterest. "I have a lot of work to do and I can't deal with your emotions right now." I sighed in relief. He wasn't angry for now. "I put off all this paperwork because of you." I let him blame me. What was next was much more important.

"I brought you a milkshake."

"Seriously? What are we, children?"

"Yes." I set down the tray and handed him his glass. He took it reflexively. "I wanted to say sorry."

"It's rather late for that." He took a drink. "This tastes different."

"Must be that I used a different type of ice cream." I shrugged. He raised an eyebrow, then drank the rest.

"Will you help me build a birdhouse?"

"Already?"

"The birds grew up fast." My words floated in the air, around us. I knew that Miki knew I was talking about us more than the birds. "They need a place of safety. I don't want them to be dependent the rest of their lives, either." I moved some of the paperwork and sat on his desk. He took back the pile and started filling out page after page of boxes. We were numbers, just like the hundred boys that had died in the fire Nemuro Memorial Hall remembered.

"Please, Miki." I reached for his hand to stay the pen. His blue eyes flicked to mine, but they weren't the color of the sky. They were the color of a weary flame with nothing left to burn and no air. My heart beat faster. I was terrified. If he said no to this, then that would truly be it. "Do you really want to spend your life cooped up doing paperwork?" I hated this, saying one thing and meaning something else. But he knew, and that was enough.

"How long will it take?"

"Time is irrelevant." I replied didactically. I heard the telltale click of Miki's stopwatch and laughed lightly. He shot me a look, calculating. Like a gear shifting, his expression changed. He knew and he saw. This was genuine, even if the milkshake hadn't been. The flavored liquor Juri had given me to put in it had made his cheeks pink as a rose. Well, it was Miki's fault that he never drank. No alcohol resistance. I would laugh again if this need for lack of inhibition in Miki at this moment was not so critical. Of course, it wasn't much. But psychologically, it helped me if I felt like the game was pitted in my favor.

"Let's do it." Light rekindled in his eyes. I smiled, but just a little bit. I couldn't jinx this, not after everything else I ruined in our relationship. "Where were you thinking about building it?"

"In the courtyard."

"Perfect. Do you have materials for it?" I nodded, jumping up. "This paperwork can wait a few more hours." Then his face fell. "Oh… but then I'd better practice piano first. Maybe tomorrow." I felt like yelling with joy. Naive Miki. This was the time when his ignorance would work in his favor. I swore it.

"I'm sorry, Kozue. I really need to practice for the school festival."

"It's all right, Miki." I crafted my expression to let him know that it wasn't. And yet it was, in the strange rose petal whirlwind of contradictions that was our relationships. I could tell by his brows that he felt properly guilty. I walked to the door. "I'll see you when you're ready." Ironic, that word. He was never ready. I waltzed out the door, ignoring his outstretched hand for now. I had to meet Touga.

I found him in the stables, eating a carrot. He looked troubled, but the second he saw me, he gave a smooth smile. "You look nice today."

"Do you play chess, Touga? It's the knights that eat carrots." I grinned. "No wonder you're in a stable."

"I know." His smirk faded. "Is it time?"

"Time is relative." I placed the wind up chick in Touga's hand. He chuckled, pocketing it.

"You're as cunning as your brother is ingenuous."

"Tell me something I don't know." I looked at him. Weird that Miki respected Touga or that anyone else in the school did. He was the same as the rest of us. Desperate.

"I know Tenjou will never want me, so don't pity me, Kozue."

"Wouldn't think of it. From one seductor to another, I know the feeling."

"It's not seduction," he said lowly. "It's love. But not the right kind."

"And that's why it's so difficult." I waved and walked away into the sunset. Though the sun was setting, true light was to come. The dusk painted the music hall the color of blood. It was so eerie I shivered. I was nearing the practice room when I saw a brighter flicker of orange. "Juri."

"Hey." She saluted, joining me. "I was wondering when you'd be here. There's something important you need to see." She led me to a courtyard that had an especially prominent western wall opposite the sun. Roses decorated the smooth marble, painted in swoops and jags. The shadow girls. Fuck. The ones who, like the fate of mythology, spun our tales.

"I know what this is," I whispered. We clasped hands. They knew, too.

"I wonder, I wonder." The first one popped up. "Do you know?"

"Honored guest, shouldn't you quit now?" the second queried.

"Damn it. I'm going to bet my entire purse on black." The first put down a bulging sack.

"Are you positive?" The second spun the wheel. "What a shame. Red!"

"Alright, then! I'm gambling my life savings away!"

"Fool," the second snorted. The scene faded. We were fools, too. We were counting on Tenjou, counting on whatever mysterious sway she held. But it was the only way. The only way I would be able to start loving Miki as a sister did, the only way for Miki to learn to love the present, and the only way any of us entrenched in the dueling game would end up alive.

"Kozue?" Juri squeezed my hand. "If there ever was a miracle, or ever will be, this is it."

"So you can finally prove it." I pulled away slowly. "I need to go. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I walked through the shadows to the piano room, exiting out the other side to where Akio's car would come to pick us up. I leaned against the wall, and presently Miki went in to practice. All of his best pieces, painstakingly polished, just as lovely as himself. Music was a part of him, but he didn't seem to realize the change that should sweep through everything. The stopwatch kept telling him a fact he always denied. Maybe he hoped one day the numbers he saw would be zeros. But I would never let that happen. If we do not grow, we are simply blooms immortalized and false as the ones that decorate the tables in Nemuro Memorial hall, color the walls of Ohtori Academy, and carve forevers out of the Dueling Arena's endless floors.

At last, Touga came sauntering up to the entrance, sharing one more knowing look with me before interrupting Miki's practice. What happened next was like clockwork, mimicking the games of End of the World. At last we were playing by our rules, which were Akio's, too. The sun had fled long ago, but would return again.

"It's almost dawn. How long do you intend to stay in and practice?" Slick as ever, Touga was. I peered through a crack in the door to see him lean against the piano languidly.

"The school festival is coming up. I'm getting my fingers in shape." Impressively, Miki kept playing.

"Why are you being so contrary?"

"I'm not being contrary or anything."

"I hear you plan to quit being a duelist."

"Yes." Miki's voice sounded sure, yet unsure at the same time. I knew he didn't want to "corrupt" the Rose Bride if he won, but he wouldn't win. His lack of confidence stopped him from taking the risk for better or for worse. If he did believe he would win without a doubt, that would be different. And we would make it so.

"But you've already chosen the path of a duelist." I heard the hum of the windup chick, out of tune with the piano's timbres. "I believe you know there's something you can't have unless you take it for yourself…" Miki's playing faltered, then died. "Reached an impasse?" Miki grabbed Touga's collar, furious.

"Juri-san said she suspected you've been up to something lately." Miki saw what he was doing and turned away in shock, sitting at the edge of his seat. Touga joined him on the seat, not letting him get away. Casually he played the middle A note on the piano. It was perfectly in tune. Miki cringed.

"A beautiful tone. But beauty alone cannot preserve beauty forever." Touga glanced at Miki out of the corner of his eyes. "Oh… hit a wall already?" The fury was building in Miki's eyes, a crescendo growing larger and larger.

"What are you trying to say, Touga?" Miki's voice held a thinly veiled threat.

"There's someone I want you to meet."

"What?"

"Listen, can't you hear it?" I looked away from Miki and Touga to see Akio coasting down the road smoothly. The headlights of the convertible were blinding.

"Hear what?"

"If your soul has truly not given up, you should be able to hear the sound resounding across the Ends of the World!" Akio revved his engine, throwing the noise of air around us into chaos. I slid into the passenger seat, smiling coyly at Ends of the World. Perhaps he knew our plot. Perhaps not.

"I hear it! I really do. What's going on?" Miki turned, trying to find the source of the sound.

"Now, allow us to invite you to the world you desire!" Touga threw the doors of the music room wide open. Miki's stunned eyes reflected the brilliance of the headlights. His stopwatch was on the ground. Broken? As if possessed, he slid into the backseat of the convertible. Touga watched us intently as we zoomed off, past the academy and into some deep otherworld where roads were rulers. Darkness surrounded us.

"You're… the chairman of the board, correct?" Miki asked nervously. I could see him sitting stock straight in the rearview mirror. For once his predictability worked in his favor.

"Mm-hm. Himemiya-sempai's older brother," I answered. Loathing for Akio and all that he meant swallowed me. Everything about him and what he and his sister had done to the rest of us made jagged scars with thorns of deceit.

"What are you doing here, Kozue?" I could hear the pain in his voice, but I couldn't let it bury me now. To win the rose we needed to brave the thorns.

"On a date with Akio-san, of course."

"Well, do as you like." Miki's anger was returning, but he was keeping it in check in Akio's presence. I tried not to let the speed of it all take my breath away. "More importantly, what do you want of me?"

"You love Himemiya-sempai, right, Miki?" I curled a lock of my hair around my finger.

"Hey!"

"Don't be embarrassed. If you want her that badly, then make her yours. Akio-san said he would help you." I could see the gears meshing and working around each other in Miki's mind, weighing the absolute gravity of the situation. A situation that counted on his selfishness. I was manipulative, more than I'd ever thought."He's awesome." I let me seat fall back, let my scarf come undone. Miki watched me in horror.

"I thought you hated Himemiya-sempai." The words that lied in between the intervals of our speech were astounding. Melodies, harmonies. Dios. That was what being brother and sister was like. Did Miki understand the game now, too? He had to, even if only a little. He was, after all, a genius.

"What I want is for you to be happy." Only a lie in context. But context wasn't needed.

"What are you talking about, all of a sudden?" Miki demanded, frustrated in the knowing way of a sibling. I watched Akio's expression turn from indifference to one of satisfaction.

"I'm always honest with my feelings, unlike you. I don't lie." I smirked. There it was, an insult that would provoke him. "Don't you trust me?" Tension like a tritone grasped the space between us. Buttons unclasped themselves.

"That's not it," he said in despair.

"Akio-san said it's for your own sake."

"But he's an adult."

"So?"

"If everything around you is impure, then do not you have no choice but to become impure yourself? You have no choice but to get dirty and take what you want."

"What I want…" Miki intoned. My scarf went flying. If Miki decided to see… His mouth weakened, and I wished I could see what he saw behind red silk. He pulled it down, brow creased with contained rage.

"You're the one who made Saionji-san duel before, aren't you? You're the one that seduced Touga, interfered with the Student Council! Who are you?" He grabbed tightly onto Akio's shoulder.

"I reveal the End of the World to you now, as well."

"You're—"


	12. Bloom

_A/N: And here is he last chapter of "Wasurena Sou." I hope you have enjoyed the drama. Eternal thanks to gorgeousshutin, cypsiman2, and James Birdsong for the incredible support and advice. Please look forward to a fluffy epilogue to round out all this angst._

**Bloom**

"Ah, be more gentle, okay?" I said as Miki set the stake of our nest box into the ground.

"Sorry. Is it crooked?" he asked.

"Set it here." The ease between us helped my surety. Just as we built a nest box for the birds, we would create our own future in this hostile world. I knew that Miki knew that what we were doing was hopeless for the right reasons. I also knew that he was stuck in the brambles between desire and reality, having given in to the game completely. We heard the patter of confident footsteps and turned.

"Hello!" Tenjou Utena, in her idyllic glory. "Setting up a nest box? I wonder if the parents will come back?" It wasn't a jab at us. It was an acknowledgement of the same pain we all felt at losing our parents, emotionally and physically. Miki would have to betray her for now, but she would understand. She had to, one day. "What is it?" So she noticed our expressions.

"Today, after school, at the Dueling Arena." Miki held out the rose the color of his eyes, a bloom dotted with dew like the sharpness of his gaze.

"No way…" Tears fell to the ground. Tenjou took the rose. "Ow!" Blood beaded on her fingers. "I'm so sorry, Miki." She looked from Miki to me, and then back again. Slowly, she left.

_"Theater. An extraordinary person. Idealized reality._

_An operating table, a wrecked ship._

_A pure play, the spira mirabilis."_

"Miki?" I watched the emotions rise and fall on his face like musical phrases.

"I need to win." His voice was uncharacteristically rough. "You know that, right, Kozue? This is my last chance. I'll be ruined just like Saionji. I don't want to leave you behind. But I need my Shining Thing. We need it. I'm sorry I didn't realize how important it was to you, too. But don't worry, sister. I'll be your Prince once more. I can't bear the truth." He looked into the finished birdhouse.

"Coward." I scoffed. He turned to glare at me, and I almost revealed the plot to him right then and there.

"I'll show you, Kozue. I will be a Prince."

"And I'll be the Princess, I guess." This game was painful. It felt illusory and hollow. Miki was ignoring the truth for now. This facade, I promised myself, would crumble as soon as the rose petals from Miki's chest scattered along the wind.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded. He held out his hand, and I took it this time.

We waited underneath the castle of Dios, stilly gazing upon the Dueling Arena floor. I paid no mind to the sparkling fantasy above me. Little was real. Though everything was silent, my mind was not. A threatening rhapsody played over and over. Miki could not win. He would not win, right? But more importantly, would we finally be able to realize our independence in these duels? Just because we looked identical didn't mean we were. I was wrong all those years.

I smoothed out my dress, with its heavy skirt and heavier decorations. The only thing heavier and more dreading than my heart. The blue sky all around was clouded, masked by deceit. Today, I swore, Miki's eyes would see clearly.

"Miss Kozue!" that innocent voice rang out. They'd arrived. My eyes met with Himemiya's, and we shared our understanding. We were in the exact same position, the witches of those who dealt in dreams. "What are you doing here dressed like that?" Fear was clear on Tenjou's face. But she didn't know.

"Miki." I motioned to him. "Let's go." I trailed my fingers down his chest, resting at the base of his heart. It beat with mine. His soul sword thrummed. Slowly, hesitantly, it rose from his chest. Beautiful. Miki still had a good soul. I knew. The corruption in our hearts would fade in the light of the power of Dios. With a blaze, the sword flew up into the air. It fell hilt-down into Miki's hand. Passion filled him. He leapt forward at once to take Tenjou's rose.

"I thought we were friends!" Tenjou said, brandishing the Sword of Dios and blocking Miki at the last second. I forgot how quick she was, how blessed. Thanks Dios, whoever they were.

"Your sword can't beat mine, can it?" Miki ran alongside the Arena, trying to taunt her. "As of today, the Rose Bride is mine!" He leapt to battle Tenjou. She blocked clumsily. This was hurting her, too. But Miki had to lose once and for all. The past could not be held in the hand. He kept on fighting, but it was useless. I smiled. How ironic. To win, we had to give up. Tenjou and Miki locked swords, both straining and pushing for the advantage.

"You've gotten a lot better. But…" Miki lunged again, breathing heavily. It was time to intervene. He and Tenjou now were equally matched. His desire was too strong. I glided across the rose-patterned floor as time slowed. Himemiya smiled, bitterly, gently, emptily. My hands grasped her waist, and I looked into her unfathomable eyes. Truth lied there, blank as a slate.

"What?" Miki called out, astonished. He was distracted immediately. I leaned in, trying not to drown in the scent of roses, Himemiya's scent. "Miss Himemiya!"

"I hear people who get engaged to you have get an amazing power," I breathed. She remained ineffable, but I had to know, dammit! Please, please, please, let Tenjou win the power of Dios. Why wouldn't Himemiya give me a hint? A clue? Something so that I knew this insane gamble had any chance, any chance at all?

"What kind of amazing power?" I started unbuttoning her dress. That was where the secret was, wasn't it! Hidden under a uniform, a role like the rest of us, was the secret.

"Kozue, what are you doing?!" Miki screamed. No! He was distracting me. I had to know.

"Show that power to me." No matter what I said, Himemiya didn't reply. She reminded me of myself, of what I never wanted to be again. A small soul trapped inside a body of twisted emptiness. She couldn't divulge her secret, could she? She couldn't fucking do it or else her brother would be ruined. I would make her. I could do it, so why couldn't she? Himemiya did not protest. She just watched as I tore her castle down. I pulled down her high collar. Would Miki see? The tears in his eyes glimmered like crushed sugar. Konpeito.

"Kozue!"

"You'll lose if you don't pay attention!" I yelled back before turning back to Himemiya. Her eyebrows were raised in a question. I tore down her sleeves. A hole. A hole was there through her body where her heart should be. I started shaking uncontrollably. No, no! It couldn't be. I checked my own pulse. Slow, too slow. My heart, Miki's heart, her heart. Gone. That's what would happen if he won.

I whirled around to face Miki, and Tenjou was poised to spring, hair pink then violet. She was glorious, or they, or whoever. Dios, the spirit of the Prince. And yet, there was was a dissonance. A small one, a close one, perhaps only an accidental. Would this still work? Tenjou jumped, and at that moment, Miki's eyes darted to Himemiya and I. Time stopped as his eyes drifted down to Himemiya's chest. Shock. Horror.

The tip of the sword of Dios ravaged the rose. Blue petals spun from the calyx. Bells rung, echoing in the distance. We had lost. But we had won. Time and reality slammed into me. What was it that they say about reaching the speed of light? That time slows, and images warp? I descended into the sweetest darkness. Then the screech of sawed metal reached my ears. Miki's soul had ruptured.

"A child's sword, huh?" Tenjou sighed. "I wonder why he chose to duel me."

"Who knows?" Himemiya stood by Tenjou in my mind.

"After all, Miki is more…" her voice trailed off.

"More?"

_More afraid_. I finished the sentence in my head. That was the answer Tenjou was searching for. He wasn't more innocent, more kind. He had been afraid of adulthood. So had I, though I tried to mask it with a promiscuous persona. But I was more afraid of losing him. The footsteps left Miki and I alone on the the floor of the dueling arena. Broken. But then, things first had to break to be repaired. And maybe?

"_I am the future, past, and present._

_I am the future, past, and present."_

I opened my eyes, and the sky above was clear and cloudless. I turned on my side, and though Miki was on the other end of the arena, I felt close to them. Adults knew heartbreak. That's why we had such difficulty knowing them. I thought of Mother and Father. They had let themselves rust and corrupt. Miki and I would not. I got to my feet and walked across, then bent down to place a hand on Miki's shoulder.

"Miki?" At my words, his eyelids fluttered open. His eyes reflected the sky, the bright truth a mirror. "Are you…"

"Kozue. Am I ill?"

"No."

"I miss the past."

"I know. Me, too."

"But it's alright now."

"Yes." I nodded as the tears started flowing down my face. "And it will be better. Once Tenjou wins."

"How?"

"I don't know. But some way or another." We stayed, watching the glorious blue turn to an indigo ink. The meditation held all, said and unsaid, that had happened. My raw heart felt real. I wasn't empty; I was spilling over with emotion. The stars shone down with a good omen. Sacrifice was made. And it would continue to be. But that was reality. Nothing was gained with nothing.

"We should leave." I got up, stretching.

"I can't stand. I'm too tired.

"Miki! Kozue!" Juri? "Are you up there!"

"We are here!" I stood up again. "Miki can't get up!"

"Wait a second, and I'll carry him. There is food back at my dorm. Saionji and Touga set up an omelette fest for the Student Council." Juri reached the top step. I laughed at the absurdity of it all. What a world. Gently, Juri lifted Miki up. "Let's get out of here for now."

"Let's." The elevator carried us down, wheeling mechanically. It was comforting to know now that it wasn't real. The imposing structures were our imagination. Together, we could fight them. We landed, and stepped out into a shadow play that had lost the thin paper props. "What now?"

"What now?" Juri asked.

"Now we break the World's Shell." Miki laughed tiredly. Juri snorted.

"Was that a pun, Mickey?"

"Never."

That night, after plates of eggs and no milkshakes, Miki and I opened the door to our dorm. "Hey, Kozue. I was thinking about moving my bed to the study room. There are some new engineering classes that I'm studying for and I don't want to wake up on my desk any more. Could you help me move it?" He went up the stairs gingerly.

"Sure." I followed behind him, looking on the dorm, the cage I hated so much. Only a while longer until the Revolution. We carried the bed into the study room, shifting furniture around to fit in in. The old stopwatch was lying abandoned on the floor. "Miki, is your stopwatch broken?"

"Yes. Actually, it never did work." He shrugged.

"Then why did you keep using it?"

"I hoped it would work again."

"Oh. Then we'll just have to get you one that does work. The Secretary of the Student Council can't keep the minutes without a stopwatch."

"I tried."

"We all did." I looked at pages of calculus that seemed to detail possible fencing moves. Oh, Miki. "But Tenjou is going to get there. We just need to make sure she does."

"Does everyone know?"

"Everyone in the Council. But just the Council. If nothing goes wrong, Juri should lose the next match, too, then Kiryuu. So we'll hope for Revolution. The truth is, it has already started."

"We're still teenagers, Kozue."

"I know. But age means little, isn't that so?"

"True. Time isn't real, and nothing we see here is real, either. We'll simply have to create truth." Miki hugged me, then let go at the perfect time. Worry besieged us yet, but there was hope. We were living.

"Just don't forget me."

"Of course I won't." Miki rummaged around in a drawer, then placed a bag in my hand. "Wasurena Sou."


	13. Rosehip

_A/N: At long last, the epilogue is revealed. I can't believe that I've finally finished this fic. I'll certainly miss writing about Kozue! Of course, I couldn't have done it without the marvelous cypsiman2, gorgeousshutin, and James Birdsong. You're the best! _

**Rosehip **(ten years later)

"Your brother is quite fantastic, isn't he?" an elegant lady with long rose-pink hair and strong blue eyes said. I nodded emphatically. I was so proud of Miki. "To invent so many new models of piano and to play it with such virtuosity! An engineer and an artist." The gala was huge, everyone there to celebrate Miki's accomplishments.

"Mickey is quite the genius," I smiled, sipping from my glass of champagne.

"But I've heard you're quite fantastic yourself, Miss Kaoru," the lady's companion said. "Quite the interesting memoir you've written. _Wasurena Sou_, I've read it. Very surreal and intense. And all your novels about school life and adolescence. They bring back that beauty and that pain." Her genuine green eyes twinkled through her glasses. For some reason, the two of them seemed familiar in a way I couldn't place. Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya.

"Oh, that little memoir? I don't even know what it was. A flight of fancy more than an autobiography." I shrugged comedically, even though, in truth, that memoir was very important to me. When I read it, it was plain that its events had to be false. Yet it raised such emotion in me that I could never discount it fully.

"Kozue?" I turned to see Juri in a tailored suit that flattered her curves and strong build. A world class fencer and a respected designer. We had all ended up in places we had only dream of in high school. I clasped her hand.

"How are you?" I asked. It felt like forever since I had talked to her last. Why had we not seen each other in a while?

"Well, as ever." She looked over to the two women I'd been talking to. "I'm Juri Arisugawa. Pleased to meet you." She raised an eyebrow. "Do I know you two already?"

"It's very possible," Anthy said.

"Miss Kaoru!" Tsuwabuki rushed over. "We've got to ready the dessert, but something happened in the kitchen!" I held up a hand to excuse myself so I could go help sort things out in the hotel kitchen. Miki couldn't take care of this at the moment; so many people were crowding around him. When I reached the kitchen doors, my jaw dropped.

"What?" Right on top of the cake, buried in frosting and spun sugar roses, was a monkey. No. A mouse? Tenjou and Himemiya peeked in behind me.

"Oh, no!" Tenjou put a hand to her forehead.

"Chuchu!" Himemiya admonished.

"What is going on?" I laughed. This occurrence seemed way too familiar.

"I'm so very sorry!" Himemiya said, grabbing the monkey-mouse from the cake. "Chuchu is always getting into the sweets. We'll making something else for the dessert."

"That'll work!" Tsuwabuki sighed, relieved. "But you're dressed so formally…"

"It's fine!" With a flourish, Tenjou swept both their dresses over their heads to reveal smart suits. "Let's do it, Himemiya!" Juri, who had followed us, shook her head in bemused wonder.

"Great!" Tsuwabuki said, checking his watch. "Let's get back to the party." As Miki's manager, Tsuwabuki ran all the social goings on. Miki's piano company had grown so huge so quickly. His talent had grown even more. He was Japan's virtuoso, no longer stuck in the role of student. The pianos he built were known for their clear, sweet sound with nostalgic undertones.

The beautiful tiled floors let sound bounce off them and fill the room. Miki's playing was magnified, his compositions sparkling in the crystallized candle light of the chandeliers. Fate had been kind to us. When Miki finished, a thunder of applause rang out. Then everyone started making conversation. Miki eventually got through the incredible line of accolades, and then I congratulated him.

"It sounds fantastic, Miki."

"Thank you, but E4 sounds slightly out of tune." He looked over at the piano musingly.

"Miki!" I reprimanded.

"I know, I know."

"You and your perfect pitch." I shook my head. He'd never lost his fastidiousness. But it didn't hold him back anymore. It only helped him in the world of engineering. "Well, anyways. Are you ready for dinner?"

"Of course." We sat down at the tables that had just been brought into the room. Juri joined us presently, then Tenjou, then Himemiya, then a whole other host of other people with colorful hair. I snickered to myself. It looked like a rainbow. A strange feeling washed over me, one like I had been here before. I looked at their faces. Touga Kiryuu. Nanami Kiryuu. Kyouichi Saionji. Wakaba Shinohara. Ruka Tsuchiya. Shiori Akatsuki. Juri Arisugawa. Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya. Then my brother and me and many others. When I finished remembering their names, dinner was already done.

I put the pieces together in my mind. This was a high school reunion. This group was what I had written my memoir about. Duelists, that's what we had been. Sometimes princes, princesses, or witches. Taking on roles larger than life and too large to handle. I looked to Tenjou, and she smiled. Did they know? They did. Did everyone else? From the air about Juri's face, she didn't. No one but me.

"Now, Miss Kaoru," Himemiya said, "I reveal the Beginning of the World to you." The waiters brought dessert to the tables. It sparkled and glittered from the dishes. What was that? Konpeito? All colors of the candy filled the crystal bowls. Awe filled me as rose tea was brought to accompany the sweets. How had they known? Miki's eyes met mine. He knew, too. He remembered all that had happened in full. All of our struggles, all of our pain. We had survived.

"Ahhh. This reminds me of high school," Tenjou said gaily.

"Indeed." Himemiya smiled at the look in Tenjou's eyes.

"Thank you for dessert," I told them, though I meant much, much, more.

"No, thank you, Kozue," Tenjou said. "You finally got Anthy to bring out her konpeito instead of the shaved ice she usually serves for dessert."

"My my!"

"I do love shaved ice, though."

"I know. You always favor it over all the other things I make in confectionary school." Anthy laughed. Miki, Juri, and I gave each other knowing looks. The strangeness of the scene hit me. I really had not known we would be here ten years later. Shining together. We had hoped.

But it wasn't strange. It wasn't unnatural, like Ohtori's persistently blank and fantastical walls, like Akio's projector, like the shadow girls. It was real. We had reached the world outside. A part of me wished I could tell my teenage self that all things would turn out. A larger, stronger part of me did not. I grew up because of those times. I wasn't stuck in the past like Nemuro or Akio. Miki and I had solved the complexities of a relationship so messed up that at the time, I wanted to sever it and drown in it at once, completely.

We were adults. That terrible, beautiful time was gone, and I wouldn't trade the memories for anything. I put a piece of konpeito on my mouth and let the sweet sugar dissolve. Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Nostalgic, isn't it?" Miki said, his own eyes shining. Juri and the rest looked at us oddly. I chuckled and reached out to hold Juri's hand again. She would understand later on when Utena and Anthy showed them. Saionji nodded from the end of the table. Of course it was in our dueling order. I shook my head, giggling to myself. A ridiculous charade, but the only way to remember. Besides, we were free now. We would never forget the past, for while the blue sky was the color of the future, it was also the hue of forget me nots.


End file.
